How do you deal with people being better than you?

[InvictusCobra]

So yesterday I played osu! after a 1 year and a half break. Left because I was obssessed with my Global ranking and how it had frozen even when I played on a daily basis (I was like 56k or something). I stopped because of that, because I was just playing famously hard maps and just trying to go up in the leaderboards. It frustrated me that people were better than me, even if it was just a damn number on the HUD. I knew I would never reach like Cookiezi's level, but the fact that I wasn't #1 was infuriating. This happens in general and it is a big part of why I stopped playing PvP games and stick with co-op (and even then I'm obssessed with being the best player on the team). So, I'd like to ask: How competetive are you? How do you deal with the fact that some people are just better than you, even if it's for reasons that you do not control? 

[Yuuko]

I learned not to care about that.

[Soulless Watcher]

I'm a very competitve person, which is rather painfull considering I suck at everything. So, I act like an asshole to everyone to compensate for my inadequacies.

[Shikomizue]

I'm competitive but not to an extreme degree, I know when to admit my loss or when others are better than me so that the activity is still fun.

[OriginalRen]

Simple. Nobody is better than me.

[Guest]

I'm ultra competitive.

Problem is - regarding osu! - you are trying to get better the wrong way.

It's easy to get High PP scores but still suck ass.

 

If you really have a goal in mind there are things that you musn't neglect.

 

First, you won't get good in a month, Not even in a year. Looking at things thinking you'll get good if you try hard for a small amount of time will result in nothing. If anything it'll get you exhausted and frustrated.

I'm 14k and have been for about a month. Thing is I'm not grinding, but actually trying to get better. And once you have actually progressed well enough, the rank will follow naturally.

 

If you are 56k there's so much you still have to work on. DT, AR>9 will not help you. Work on consistency. Play long maps, low AR and go for High accuracy.

 

And that's for osu but all those principles apply for sports as well. Getting good isn't just about playing hard for a short amount of time. It's building a GOOD routine, not necessarily an intensive exhausting one.

 

I'd say, patience is the key, and realize your own mistakes. Rome wasn't built in a day.

 

If you want tips and maps you can play to get better, ask me.

[Segai]

I'm generally terrible at most games I play which is why I like playing Co-Op with a more skilled friend of mine. I'm a follow and support kinda guy. Or I call terrible strategies and get everyone slaughtered in hilarious ways, both are pretty fun.

 

Having people be better than you in PvP can also be fun, the feeling of payback after he defeated you 10 times is sweeter than honey and it makes you a better player.

 

A more "real life" example would be racing. I sometimes do kart-racing at a local track and while I'm not that good at it, I still manage to land in the top 10 of the day usually but not anything more. I've noticed that my lap times improve so much more when i'm actively following someone better than me. You learn the racing line from them and learn to find grip, deal with situations, and Keep a steadier pace. And no noobs to be in your way on small sections or shove you aside because they have 0 situational awareness.

 

tl;dr: competition makes us better.

[Bolverk]

I been very competitive. Played in a small'ish game with a clan in a team against another clans. Won and came high in the majority of tournaments I played in.

 

I realized something pretty simple from watching other players. How fast you improve and good you can get depends on Innate talent, effort and effective practice. When you find a player that's better than you. Analyze him and try to find what he does and how. Practice his skills. Then try to crush him.

 

If that doesn't work. Look at the better guy as those who are worse than you. You are beyond them. Here the skilled guy, is beyond you. So, you ignore them as well.

[Darbury]

Someone will always be better than you. Someone will always be worse than you. That's life. The sooner you embrace that, the happier you'll be.

 

As for myself, I try to practice a bit of mindfulness in competition by letting go of as many expectations as possible. If I'm lucky, I can focus on the moment, not the result. Was I happy with my performance? Did I have fun? If so, then I consider it time well-spent, regardless of whether I won or lost.

[Abyssal Monkey]

Protip: don't give a fuck.  Seriously.

 

Games are meant to be played and enjoyed.  If you are getting stressed out over playing a game, then stop playing, as it is self destructive on every level.  Competitive games are for competitive people who enjoy the competition even when they lose.  

 

Everybody has strengths, everybody has weaknesses.  That's life, so you just gotta say "I don't give a shit." and face it head on and laugh.   You'll be better off for it, and your life will have about 50% less stress.

 

If you need to be good at something to feel good about yourself, find something you're good at, and stick to it.

[firecat]

i research and found out that there hacks for them (there's always a hack for a game) and then give up.

[Flutterz]

I used to be really competitive, but then I realized that I don't have any talent, even in video games, so I eventually stopped. After 4000 hours in Dota, I'm just above average in terms of skill. It's way easier this way that worrying that everyone is better than me at everything.

[cenric]

I can get pretty competitive at times and when I do, losing does frustrate me.

 

I deal with it by understanding how dedicated the best really are and by only committing to something after I understand the level I'm willing to go. At this point I usually realize that I'm actually very casual compared to these people. If I'm not willing to do purposeful and dedicated practice every day for a specific amount of time then I'm not even going to start comparing myself to the people who do.

[Yatsufusa]

As far as games go, I don't really make a big deal out of it if someone is whooping my ass online in a pvp or team based match so long as they aren't acting all high and mighty about it afterwards. It's mainly the dickheads that send you a message saying "LOLZ NOOB YOU SUCK" or some shit which really pisses me off the most.

I'm quite stubborn when it comes to competitive online play, so I'll just keep playing against the same person or group until I eventually beat them.

[TheFantasm]

I play games for fun, not to stress out, or get pissed. I have enough things in my life that do that already. I rarely have the time to sit down and use my PS4 or anything lately, so that also probably plays a part in it.

[Rose]

I just do my best to be the best that I can be. When it's not enough, I just try even harder. Like Maef said, it's all about improving, not only having a nice number on your HUD. 

[Nosebleed]

I quit osu, it did wonders for me.

After I reached rank 24k, I got to the point where you're at, and because it was too annoying to look at my rank drop, I just stopped playing altogether.

What did it for me was the fact that I couldn't FC maps I knew I could FC, it was always that single miss in every single map, and eventually i got fed up.

I did want to get back to it at some point, but my mouse broke, so RIP.

[Funyarinpa]

About games, I play competitive MP rarely since I suck at all kinds of games. Makes me feel better, because otherwise I feel like shit indeed.

 

About all other things, I've adopted a (admittedly unconscious) perspective where I'm inwardly arrogant about everything I care about. Nobody in my term has better English than me. I can get into a top-level university if I just try a bit. Oh those poor fools (referring to a vast majority of the country), they don't know how amazing literature is. I pity those who don't know high level English. Still having faith? Pah.

 

I try not to let it show, but I'm an arrogant prick. :/

[sarkasmus]

It depends, if it's about something I don't care about I dont care.

 

If it's about things I know I'm bad at I don't really care

 

If it's about something I'm good at, I try to get better than that person if I don't manage to get better than that person I continue trying (I would have a big problem if I got angry or depressed about it).

[Satsuki]

Err...ignore them and live your own peaceful life?

[Eclipsed]

if someone better academically i try to best them on tests and whatnot

 

physically more adept, lelll idc

 

competetive gaming, just qq like a scrub

[Down]

I have this problem because

 

 

So I simply became a pokemon master and solved the problem.

[Chronopolis]

For Osu, I know there's a lot of bad habits and practice habits that can stop you from getting any better. It takes the right type of practice and a lot of work to continuously improve. So, while I'm disappointed, I'm hopefully not beating myself up over being stuck at this wall at ~25k, even though I've played more than most people have at that level. Nowadays for MP games, as far as gameplay reasons,  I only play them now if the strategy is fun, or if gameplay is pretty fun regardless of win or lose.

 

There are few IRL people I knowwho have spent less time on Japanese (or managed their time better and so have gotten more other things done in addition) and are just as good or better. This had me quite taken-aback, but the truth is, the fact is that, as long as it's the stuff attached to you that you value, someone else having more skill than you doesn't make what you've experienced and gained less valuable.

I chose to study Japanese, and it matters how good I am compared to if I had spent a different amount of time on it. It shouldn't matter how good I am compared to another person. If I see other people studying more efficiently, I can try and copy that study method. But studying the method might be difficult (for me) and so I shouldn't expect 100% to see a benefit out of that, nor should I feel so bad in the case that I can't apply that method effectively.

 

I'm not really the king of positive thinking, but what I say to myself when I see people way ahead of me:

"Those people are miles ahead. Well, the best thing I can do is keep working, that'll get me as far as possible. That's the important part."

 

Having people somewhat above and below your level is good for gaining gaining and understanding of what constitutes skill. Having people way above your level is disconcerting, and can be harmful if you don't handle it well internally.

 

About games, I play competitive MP rarely since I suck at all kinds of games. Makes me feel better, because otherwise I feel like shit indeed.

    About all other things, I've adopted a (admittedly unconscious) perspective where I'm inwardly arrogant about everything I care about. Nobody in my term has better English than me. I can get into a top-level university if I just try a bit. Oh those poor fools (referring to a vast majority of the country), they don't know how amazing literature is. I pity those who don't know high level English. Still having faith? Pah.

    I try not to let it show, but I'm an arrogant prick. :/

Hah, I look down on people too from time to time. I can't help it. It must be my blasted insecurity showing.

[Darklord Rooke]

Someone will always be better than you. Someone will always be worse than you. That's life. The sooner you embrace that, the happier you'll be.

 

As for myself, I try to practice a bit of mindfulness in competition by letting go of as many expectations as possible. If I'm lucky, I can focus on the moment, not the result. Was I happy with my performance? Did I have fun? If so, then I consider it time well-spent, regardless of whether I won or lost.

 

A wise response.

[Zalor]

I learned not to care about that.

 

This basically. I went to one of the top high schools in my city, and I certainly was the smartest kid in my middle school. But going to that high school really put me in my place. It destroyed the ego I built up in middle school, which was probably a good thing since it overall made me a more likable person. It was tough realizing that there were people who were just inanely better than me at certain things, and it made me want to stop trying. But once I got to know them, they were usually rather nice and helpful. They didn't look down on me and respected the effort I was putting. And it also turned out, that a lot of them put more effort and time into things than I thought. 

 

I noticed that the few who were assholes (and ultra academically competitive) were usually miserable. They were always stressing about something. By just accepting that they were better than me (at a certain thing and moving on) I realized that I was a lot more happy than them anyway. Which got me to also realize; who cares if you're brilliant if you're chronically stressed and miserable.

 

So yeah, some people will be better than you. But who cares, that is no excuse to stop trying.