Tsuki ni Yorisou Otome no Sahou Translation (Common Route Finished!) Looking for TL

[iKiritoCy 42]

Vn info: https://vndb.org/v10680/chars

 

This vn was always on my favorites so i started translating now that i've got more experience as a translator, as well as japanese in general, so i began translating it.

 

Note: Thanks to Keisuke from my team for showing me how to get the original scripts.

 

Note2: I will also translate the append disk which is the ver2.0

 

 

The common route is now fully translated!

You can also check out our new page here!

https://phantomworldtranslations.wordpress.com/about/

Total Progress Of The Translation

Overall : 10613  /31,248  (33%)

Luna's Route: 1926/7764  (24%) 

Edited July 31, 2016 by iKiritoCy

[12kami 107]

good luck !

[Novel21 261]

Yes god luck with this translation project and I hope you finish translate this game.

Tsuki ni Yorisou Otome no Sahou are my favorite VN game too and thank you for translating this game.

I'm looking forward to see this game complete and I'm support you.

[Down 1345]

I guess I'll be the one to ask but have you considered contacting Mangagamer about this? Since they're kinda partnered with Navel and could be interested in it.

 

Also I'm curious, do you have the size of the script? It's not listed on tlwiki.

[iKiritoCy 42]

I guess I'll be the one to ask but have you considered contacting Mangagamer about this? Since they're kinda partnered with Navel and could be interested in it.

 

Also I'm curious, do you have the size of the script? It's not listed on tlwiki.

I considered contacting Mangagamer but when i only done a lot of scripts first at least. As for the size of the scripts are 4,72 MB unless the Append scripts are elsewhere and i have to look for them separately (or maybe they are mixed with those i already have?) but i'll cross that bridge when i get to it

[CruelN1N1 74]

Good luck!

[Down 1345]

I considered contacting Mangagamer but when i only done a lot of scripts first at least. As for the size of the scripts are 4,72 MB unless the Append scripts are elsewhere and i have to look for them separately (or maybe they are mixed with those i already have?) but i'll cross that bridge when i get to it

4,72 mb sounds like too much, no eroge is that big. Are they encoded in shift-JIS? I guess you didn't have time yet to check for redundant text.

 

Anyway, good luck to you.

[Crayten 105]

Good luck with the projekt.

 

Nice that someone picked it up after mangagamer let me down with it 

[Maxel 115]

Good luck with the projekt.

 

Nice that someone picked it up after mangagamer let me down with it 

Oh, come on. I still think that they'll annouce this or OreTsuba(and then Conjueror/Garejei will be free to work on this one ) next year, there's high chances indeed.

 

Anyway, good luck with the project, hope you'll stick to it.

And yeah, you should contant MG, as Down said earlier.

Faster, the better, so you may know if they'll pick up your translation, or if they're not planning to release this one.

[tahu157 172]

Whadya know, I just added this VN to my wishlist last night.

 

Good luck and I'm looking forward to reading it!

[Conjueror 212]

Do you have a plan for Ursula's weird Japanese, and the language jokes desu no? The prose's pretty easy, but I always dreaded the idea of translating those parts desu wa.

 

Also, Navel seems to have been restructured around the time of TsuriOtsu and you could say now is pretty much a different company from when MG used to work with them.

[iKiritoCy 42]

Do you have a plan for Ursula's weird Japanese, and the language jokes desu no? The prose's pretty easy, but I always dreaded the idea of translating those parts desu wa.

 

Also, Navel seems to have been restructured around the time of TsuriOtsu and you could say now is pretty much a different company from when MG used to work with them.

The "desu no" i don't think there is a specific translation for it. Well i don't know even if there is cause it's a part of the character's speech if it was only "desu" maybe i could translate it with some another way but if she's speaking like that most translations i've seen about it leave it at the end of her line. I'll probably do that as well

[Chuee 186]

You'd just translate it into a slightly snobbish, haughty type of speaking. Most ending styles like that usually just convey personality and speech patterns, they don't have direct translations. Oh, and every time I hear desu no/wa I instantly think of the VA that always plays those characters and her infamous OHOHOHO

[Conjueror 212]

You'd just translate it into a slightly snobbish, haughty type of speaking. Most ending styles like that usually just convey personality and speech patterns, they don't have direct translations. Oh, and every time I hear desu no/wa I instantly think of the VA that always plays those characters and her infamous OHOHOHO

 

That's what you'd normally do, but in TsuriOtsu them teaching her ridiculous/outdated Japanese words and expressions is the joke, and "desu wa" is pretty much her catchphrase. She is not aware her Japanese is strange, and speaks perfectly normal when she is (supposedly) speaking French. xD

I'd have to brainstorm for a while to see if it's really feasible, but I remember thinking that one might emulate the jokes by introducing Shakespearean English like "wherefore" and "hitherto" to her vocabulary, though you'd still require some serious linguistic acrobatics to deal with that desu wa thing every time it comes up.

[Chuee 186]

Hmm, that does sound fairly hard to translate, though I guess you'd probably just have to settle for a similar-ish catchphrase line to give her in English. 

[iKiritoCy 42]

We've found a way to make a patch of the .data files and i thought i should tell you that we can patch the translated script now. Here's a pic of the prototype, well excuse my English if they are bad on it or any mistakes cause i didn't double-check anything yet but i would fix everything eventually 

 

 

[Down 1345]

 

Here's a pic of the prototype, well excuse my English if they are bad on it or any mistakes cause i didn't double-check anything yet but i would fix everything eventually 

[Chuee 186]

Yeah. The first and third line are okay-ish, but would need to be reworded to make decent sense

"Since my mother had died, I figured I would as well."

"It's somewhat of a scary feeling, but currently, heaven seems to have placed opportunity in my hands, despite the situation I was currently in."

Second line I can't figure out for the life of me what it's trying to say. Last line I can understand what it's going for but it's worded in a way that makes it difficult.

"My mother had been fighting the illness she had, until she finally succumbed to it, one month ago, in January."

[iKiritoCy 42]

I sure hope you do because it doesn't make a lot of sense at all

You probably shouldn't post pictures without your fail-proof script because they're bound to be used out of context by other people later, again and again, to criticize your work as if the pictures in question were representative of it.

[Conjueror 212]

We've found a way to make a patch of the .data files and i thought i should tell you that we can patch the translated script now. Here's a pic of the prototype, well excuse my English if they are bad on it or any mistakes cause i didn't double-check anything yet but i would fix everything eventually 

 

https://i.gyazo.com/4a13456f8a06466b76bf98f02845d2b8.png

 

I'm not sure if the issue here is your command of English or Japanese (or both), but this looks more like something I'd expect to get from pasting the script into google translate than an unpolished piece of writing done by a human. I don't want to sound offensive, but you might want to either work on your language skills a bit first, or at least pick an easier visual novel to practice on.

[Darbury 451]

I applaud your ambition — I truly do — but I find myself agreeing with Conjueror on this one. There are some fundamental issues with the English version that no amount of editing could fix right now. (The section about the cellar is more or less incomprehensible, I’m sorry to say.) Being able to take something from one language and rephrase it clearly, even if inelegantly, in another is the beating heart of translation. And that's HARD. Really hard.

I don't mean to discourage you; I'm just trying to be realistic about what I see on the page here.

[iKiritoCy 42]

I've finally reached 10% of the translation progress! But because i didn't have time to see the exact number of lines on each route i've written the progress on how much scripts i've done. 

It doesn't mean much but thank you for the comments about before the first script, i must admit that i was in a rush making it cause i wanted to get fast to the story, but due to your responses i've decided that i should retranslate it. It's the only one i had the time to do so though.

On the other hand i've done huge progress on the common route and i must admit that this vn is certainly unique and has some really hilarious scenes that you won't find anywhere else. I'll try to post the progress i do like this after two or three weeks of work to keep you all informed of my work and don't worry about the translation, it's really accurate but i would get an editor just in case much later on

 

 

[Kawasumi 800]

oh, I totally forgot that you would translate this! Awesome, im planning to read it in the near future though.

Good luck! Glad to see that its making progress <3

[iKiritoCy 42]

The translation is now 15% . I forgot to point this out before,  but i also intent to translate the append disk and the scripts are already included on this

Edited December 19, 2015 by iKiritoCy

[iKiritoCy 42]

Finally the Project Reached 20% !!! I'm also looking for an editor and translators if anyone's interested add me KiritoCy on skype or contact me on "kirito.cyprus97@gmail.com"