Zalor

To provide some context, Deemo is a Taiwanese rhythm game developed for the iOS and Android by Rayark Games. For the most part, I think this game has escaped the notice from most western otaku. Which honestly would make sense, since it isn't marketed towards Otaku like other rhythm games (notably Love Live and Osu). In fact, the game play is arguably not even the primary purpose of the game. Rather, the songs serve the broader purpose of telling a story together with the visuals.
The word "visual novel", by its name suggests a story that emphasizes the visual aspect to express the story. Taking this loose understanding of the term (and not the conventional definition), Deemo certainly qualifies as an interesting example. In fact, Deemo mostly relies on its visuals and audio to convey its story, hardly using much text at all. This aids the experience excellently as the story is quite simple, and most of the experience is emotional. And nothing conveys emotions as well as music.
The game begins in a cut scene showing falling sheet music, and a mysterious figure that resembles a walking shadow (Deemo). The next thing we see is Deemo peacefully playing a piano, when he is suddenly interrupted when a girl falls from the sky into his house. Catching her, they then ponder on the best way to return her where she came from (in the sky). It is then that they discover a little sapling growing on the ground, and they realize that when it grows into a large tree, she could climb it up. Thankfully, the tree grows through the power of music, and that is where the game play becomes relevant.
The tree grows by playing music, but in order to keep it growing you need to keep discovering new music. This is where the other key game mechanic becomes important. For the most part, you unlock new songs when the tree reaches certain heights. But usually you can only get the music by finding it. So you have to search through Deemo's house to find new songs. In doing so, you discover all sort of other clues that provide hints about Deemo's true identity. As you search through Deemo's house, you are not only discovering new music to progress the game, but also learning about the weird world you are in. Deemo's house, is essentially the whole world in this universe. By exploring, you will inevitably ask yourself 3 questions. Who is Deemo, who is the masked lady, and what is this world? 

Visual Novels typically use choice structures as a means to direct the story. Similarly, but also quite differently, you guide the story and its progression in Deemo through exploration of the limited areas. There is not much to explore, just like how VNs usually only provide a few branching choices, which provides the same sense of confinement that VNs give. You are given some room to explore and deviate, but you are mostly restricted to a few places. 
The art cover for each song also adds a level of storytelling as each picture captures an image of Deemo's and the girl's relationship developing. The song itself provides the mood to interpret the picture. In other words, the song is essentially the words. Or another way of thinking about it is that each song could be broken down into musical notes and transcribed on paper as sheet music. Well that sheet music, is the script to this story. The game focuses all the comprehensive aspects of the story to imagery and exploration (with minimal use of text), allowing for character development and all things emotional to be expressed by the music as opposed to text. And while narrative can always communicate plot points more efficiently than music, music trumps narrative in terms of emotional expression. And ultimately Deemo's story is more focused on mood, than it is on plot.   
The game wants the player to use their imagination to string the plot together by using images and the music as the core tools to do so. In much the same way that novelists want the reader to use their imagination when visualizing descriptions. In this way, I think this music game, captures the true heart of music; emotional expression.
The title of this article suggests that I think that Deemo is in some way a visual novel, and using the term loosely, that is true. As I briefly mentioned before, the term “visual novel” implies a story that is primarily expressed through visuals (this is of course ignoring the historical context to how the term was coined in the first place). And I have seldom seen any story that has relied on the visual aspect as much as Deemo. The game almost solely relies on images to express what is going on, and music to infuse emotional meaning to those images. And it is truly impressive how effective a story can be told in this limited way. To the extent where by the end of this journey, I was in tears. And when I return back to replay certain songs, or to view certain cut scenes, the feelings I initially felt are still there.

To provide some context, Deemo is a Taiwanese rhythm game developed for the iOS and Android by Rayark Games. For the most part, I think this game has escaped the notice from most western otaku. Which honestly would make sense, since it isn't marketed towards Otaku like other rhythm games (notably Love Live and Osu). In fact, the game play is arguably not even the primary purpose of the game. Rather, the songs serve the broader purpose of telling a story together with the visuals.
The word "visual novel", by its name suggests a story that emphasizes the visual aspect to express the story. Taking this loose understanding of the term (and not the conventional definition), Deemo certainly qualifies as an interesting example. In fact, Deemo mostly relies on its visuals and audio to convey its story, hardly using much text at all. This aids the experience excellently as the story is quite simple, and most of the experience is emotional. And nothing conveys emotions as well as music.
The game begins in a cut scene showing falling sheet music, and a mysterious figure that resembles a walking shadow (Deemo). The next thing we see is Deemo peacefully playing a piano, when he is suddenly interrupted when a girl falls from the sky into his house. Catching her, they then ponder on the best way to return her where she came from (in the sky). It is then that they discover a little sapling growing on the ground, and they realize that when it grows into a large tree, she could climb it up. Thankfully, the tree grows through the power of music, and that is where the game play becomes relevant.
The tree grows by playing music, but in order to keep it growing you need to keep discovering new music. This is where the other key game mechanic becomes important. For the most part, you unlock new songs when the tree reaches certain heights. But usually you can only get the music by finding it. So you have to search through Deemo's house to find new songs. In doing so, you discover all sort of other clues that provide hints about Deemo's true identity. As you search through Deemo's house, you are not only discovering new music to progress the game, but also learning about the weird world you are in. Deemo's house, is essentially the whole world in this universe. By exploring, you will inevitably ask yourself 3 questions. Who is Deemo, who is the masked lady, and what is this world? 

Visual Novels typically use choice structures as a means to direct the story. Similarly, but also quite differently, you guide the story and its progression in Deemo through exploration of the limited areas. There is not much to explore, just like how VNs usually only provide a few branching choices, which provides the same sense of confinement that VNs give. You are given some room to explore and deviate, but you are mostly restricted to a few places. 
The art cover for each song also adds a level of storytelling as each picture captures an image of Deemo's and the girl's relationship developing. The song itself provides the mood to interpret the picture. In other words, the song is essentially the words. Or another way of thinking about it is that each song could be broken down into musical notes and transcribed on paper as sheet music. Well that sheet music, is the script to this story. The game focuses all the comprehensive aspects of the story to imagery and exploration (with minimal use of text), allowing for character development and all things emotional to be expressed by the music as opposed to text. And while narrative can always communicate plot points more efficiently than music, music trumps narrative in terms of emotional expression. And ultimately Deemo's story is more focused on mood, than it is on plot.   
The game wants the player to use their imagination to string the plot together by using images and the music as the core tools to do so. In much the same way that novelists want the reader to use their imagination when visualizing descriptions. In this way, I think this music game, captures the true heart of music; emotional expression.
The title of this article suggests that I think that Deemo is in some way a visual novel, and using the term loosely, that is true. As I briefly mentioned before, the term “visual novel” implies a story that is primarily expressed through visuals (this is of course ignoring the historical context to how the term was coined in the first place). And I have seldom seen any story that has relied on the visual aspect as much as Deemo. The game almost solely relies on images to express what is going on, and music to infuse emotional meaning to those images. And it is truly impressive how effective a story can be told in this limited way. To the extent where by the end of this journey, I was in tears. And when I return back to replay certain songs, or to view certain cut scenes, the feelings I initially felt are still there.

To provide some context, Deemo is a Taiwanese rhythm game developed for the iOS and Android by Rayark Games. For the most part, I think this game has escaped the notice from most western otaku. Which honestly would make sense, since it isn't marketed towards Otaku like other rhythm games (notably Love Live and Osu). In fact, the game play is arguably not even the primary purpose of the game. Rather, the songs serve the broader purpose of telling a story together with the visuals.
The word "visual novel", by its name suggests a story that emphasizes the visual aspect to express the story. Taking this loose understanding of the term (and not the conventional definition), Deemo certainly qualifies as an interesting example. In fact, Deemo mostly relies on its visuals and audio to convey its story, hardly using much text at all. This aids the experience excellently as the story is quite simple, and most of the experience is emotional. And nothing conveys emotions as well as music.
The game begins in a cut scene showing falling sheet music, and a mysterious figure that resembles a walking shadow (Deemo). The next thing we see is Deemo peacefully playing a piano, when he is suddenly interrupted when a girl falls from the sky into his house. Catching her, they then ponder on the best way to return her where she came from (in the sky). It is then that they discover a little sapling growing on the ground, and they realize that when it grows into a large tree, she could climb it up. Thankfully, the tree grows through the power of music, and that is where the game play becomes relevant.
The tree grows by playing music, but in order to keep it growing you need to keep discovering new music. This is where the other key game mechanic becomes important. For the most part, you unlock new songs when the tree reaches certain heights. But usually you can only get the music by finding it. So you have to search through Deemo's house to find new songs. In doing so, you discover all sort of other clues that provide hints about Deemo's true identity. As you search through Deemo's house, you are not only discovering new music to progress the game, but also learning about the weird world you are in. Deemo's house, is essentially the whole world in this universe. By exploring, you will inevitably ask yourself 3 questions. Who is Deemo, who is the masked lady, and what is this world? 

Visual Novels typically use choice structures as a means to direct the story. Similarly, but also quite differently, you guide the story and its progression in Deemo through exploration of the limited areas. There is not much to explore, just like how VNs usually only provide a few branching choices, which provides the same sense of confinement that VNs give. You are given some room to explore and deviate, but you are mostly restricted to a few places. 
The art cover for each song also adds a level of storytelling as each picture captures an image of Deemo's and the girl's relationship developing. The song itself provides the mood to interpret the picture. In other words, the song is essentially the words. Or another way of thinking about it is that each song could be broken down into musical notes and transcribed on paper as sheet music. Well that sheet music, is the script to this story. The game focuses all the comprehensive aspects of the story to imagery and exploration (with minimal use of text), allowing for character development and all things emotional to be expressed by the music as opposed to text. And while narrative can always communicate plot points more efficiently than music, music trumps narrative in terms of emotional expression. And ultimately Deemo's story is more focused on mood, than it is on plot.   
The game wants the player to use their imagination to string the plot together by using images and the music as the core tools to do so. In much the same way that novelists want the reader to use their imagination when visualizing descriptions. In this way, I think this music game, captures the true heart of music; emotional expression.
The title of this article suggests that I think that Deemo is in some way a visual novel, and using the term loosely, that is true. As I briefly mentioned before, the term “visual novel” implies a story that is primarily expressed through visuals (this is of course ignoring the historical context to how the term was coined in the first place). And I have seldom seen any story that has relied on the visual aspect as much as Deemo. The game almost solely relies on images to express what is going on, and music to infuse emotional meaning to those images. And it is truly impressive how effective a story can be told in this limited way. To the extent where by the end of this journey, I was in tears. And when I return back to replay certain songs, or to view certain cut scenes, the feelings I initially felt are still there.

I told a couple people I would post my thoughts about Sayonara wo Oshiete when I finished it, and just a few days ago I finished a bad end and Mutsuki's good end. So here are my impressions, thoughts, and analysis of that experience. Also, this post does not contain any significant spoilers to the VN. So its safe for all those that are curious. (Also from here on forward I will refer to Sayonara wo Oshiete as 'Sayooshi')
Before I start talking about Sayooshi, I want to briefly describe the circumstances in which I discovered it. During this past summer, after having studied Japanese (with a grammatical focus) for a while,  I wanted to get a few easy moege under my belt before attempting something I actually wanted to read. I was honestly having a miserable time, as I hate moege. I was reading them for no other reason than to practice and learn Japanese, as they were appropriate for my level. I wasn't having fun, and it honestly felt like work more than anything else. Just as I was about to give up on Untld Vns for the time being, I read a post by Vokoca talking about Sayooshi, and he linked to this video. The unsettling music and ominous imagery instantly piqued my curiosity and I set out to get this VN. For a while I was saving it, still thinking "My Japanese isn't good enough yet", but then at some point in the fall I decided "Fuck it, with the help of dictionaries and text hooking software, I can make this journey", and began reading it whenever I had time. And boy was this a journey worth taking, even if I did proceed through it a bit slowly. 
I love the first person narrative because getting inside the heads of interesting characters is truly experiencing the world through a different person's eyes. And VNs in my view are the best medium for first person narration, as they allow you to to see and hear what the MC experiences. Furthermore, back ground music enriches the story by immersing the reader in the moods of various settings and situations. Sayooshi takes all these strengths of VNs and the first person narrative, and uses it to put you inside the head of a madman. A man whose sense of reality is slipping further and further away by the day. The unreliable narrator is a literary trope that I really enjoy, but this is an area where I think VNs by default have higher potential than books. It is one thing to solely read the mind of a madman/untrustworthy narrator, it is another thing all together to see and hear that man's world, on top of reading his narrative.   
Too often I see wasted potential in the artistic side of VNs. Visual art is important for not only conveying ideas (i.e. a picture of a hallway should look like a hallway, a picture of a girl should look like a girl, etc.), but art can also convey moods. VNs of the same era usually have extremely similar character designs, and there is usually a lack of creativity in artistic style in VNs. While the character designs aren't anything revolutionary (it is admittedly nice that this VN came out before moe blobs became popular though), what is special about the art, is the eternal twilight. Hitomi's world is a world drenched in the orange and reddish hue of twilight, as the VN takes place exclusively during the evening. And coupled with all the things Hitomi experiences, the color of twilight really makes things even more ominous. It instills a feeling of loneliness, or at the very least detachment.

Supporting the artwork in creating an unsettling atmosphere, is the music. The main theme that plays when Hitomi is wandering the school alone (this theme), only reinforces the feelings of detachment that the visual art and writing create. Character themes as well are quite well suited for each of the characters and the moods they represent, further successfully reinforcing the tone of the writing.
Now onto the writing itself. Things are confusing, and they only get more confusing. Any sense of orientation is screwed around with, and this only gets worse as the story continues. You are left thinking "Did what I see actually happen?", until it gets to the point where you just altogether give up on distinguishing reality. In this way, you yourself submit to the insanity and fall further into Hitomi's world. Not knowing what to make of his situation. The only difference between you and him, is that you know he is crazy, but nonetheless identify with him because you experience the same sense of the world as he does. And perhaps weird to say, but the H-scenes in this VN serve to further sympathize with his madness.
When I was telling a (non-VN reading) friend of mine about Sayooshi. He admitted that it sounded interesting, and even could appreciate the use of the H-scenes from an intellectual perspective. But he then told me that what he thought was truly disturbing, was not the use of H-scenes, but that "inevitably there will be people out there that will find it arousing". For him, (and his understanding of what I told him about Sayooshi), the sex scenes, which are exclusively rape scenes, serve to reinforce Hitomi's insanity, and therefore their portrayal is justified. But finding the scenes arousing yourself, is horrific as it is identifying with a monster; like the monster that plagues Hitomi's dreams. But it is here, where I disagree. The VN does everything in its power to have you identify with Hitomi's insanity, and the sex scenes are no exception.
The sex scenes are arousing, despite knowing that they shouldn't be. It isn't just rape, but the Heroines are (supposedly) middle school girls for Christ's sake. Perhaps eroge players (particularly nukige fans) maybe a bit desensitized, but this is certainly fucked up. But just like when Hitomi experiences the dream that plagues him for the first half of the story, he knows he is the monster raping the angel, and there is pleasure still drawn from this. A pleasure that Hitomi knows is horrible and monstrous. But just as Hitomi submits to the role as the monster as he views his nightmare; we are in an identical role, viewing (and partly identifying) with his sexual misdemeanors as he commits them. It coerces you into submitting yourself to the madness of these H-scenes. By doing so an enjoyment is found in them, but for you and Hitomi alike there is a darkness implied in that pleasure. Furthermore, Hitomi seems to understand that he is defiling them. There is a guilt and sense of disgust felt, but also a feeling of extreme excitement, just as we as readers feel. This is shown through the multiple references he makes to 'contaminating the purity of the angel/Mutsuki', to paraphrase what he says. The H-scenes, and our feelings towards them, mirror Hitomi's perspective; furthering our identification with his insanity.
Yet, just like the reoccurring nightmare, the H-scenes almost always end abruptly, and are divorced from continuity. It is not uncommon for an H scene to abruptly happen, end all of a sudden, and the next thing you know you are placed into a completely different context. And not only do the H-scenes lack continuity immediately before and after, but the characters never make reference to it afterwards, and act just as they did before. Further questioning whether they ever really happened. And this confusion surrounding the reality of the h-scenes, makes it easier to identify with Hitomi during them, since the normal consequences and damage caused by rape, do not apply.  

(Perhaps this would be a considered spoiler if I could guarantee that it actually happened )
And for all these reasons, I feel that the thesis of this VN is the fragility of the human mind. Often we draw huge differences between the mentally deranged, and functional normal human beings; but what Sayooshi points out is that the difference is actually rather subtle. In seeing the world Hitomi experiences, and sympathizing with him, it gets us to realize that we ourselves are not that different. That given his circumstances and what he experiences (and seeing it through his eyes), his reactions are actually understandable. The atmosphere of his world, and reading the thoughts of his mind, gets us to question his sanity, and in doing so, eventually gets us to question our own sanity as well.     
Sayooshi in an incredibly strong atmospheric experience. And it is for this reason that I feel Sayooshi is a great representative of the strengths VNs offer as a medium. This VN took advantage of all the tools it had as a VN (music, sound effects, visuals, and narrative) to provide a full experience of what the wanders of a madman look like. I really felt like I understood to a degree what it was like to be insane reading this work, and I don't think I would have been able to identify as well if it were told in any other medium in any other way.  
 
 

I told a couple people I would post my thoughts about Sayonara wo Oshiete when I finished it, and just a few days ago I finished a bad end and Mutsuki's good end. So here are my impressions, thoughts, and analysis of that experience. Also, this post does not contain any significant spoilers to the VN. So its safe for all those that are curious. (Also from here on forward I will refer to Sayonara wo Oshiete as 'Sayooshi')
Before I start talking about Sayooshi, I want to briefly describe the circumstances in which I discovered it. During this past summer, after having studied Japanese (with a grammatical focus) for a while,  I wanted to get a few easy moege under my belt before attempting something I actually wanted to read. I was honestly having a miserable time, as I hate moege. I was reading them for no other reason than to practice and learn Japanese, as they were appropriate for my level. I wasn't having fun, and it honestly felt like work more than anything else. Just as I was about to give up on Untld Vns for the time being, I read a post by Vokoca talking about Sayooshi, and he linked to this video. The unsettling music and ominous imagery instantly piqued my curiosity and I set out to get this VN. For a while I was saving it, still thinking "My Japanese isn't good enough yet", but then at some point in the fall I decided "Fuck it, with the help of dictionaries and text hooking software, I can make this journey", and began reading it whenever I had time. And boy was this a journey worth taking, even if I did proceed through it a bit slowly. 
I love the first person narrative because getting inside the heads of interesting characters is truly experiencing the world through a different person's eyes. And VNs in my view are the best medium for first person narration, as they allow you to to see and hear what the MC experiences. Furthermore, back ground music enriches the story by immersing the reader in the moods of various settings and situations. Sayooshi takes all these strengths of VNs and the first person narrative, and uses it to put you inside the head of a madman. A man whose sense of reality is slipping further and further away by the day. The unreliable narrator is a literary trope that I really enjoy, but this is an area where I think VNs by default have higher potential than books. It is one thing to solely read the mind of a madman/untrustworthy narrator, it is another thing all together to see and hear that man's world, on top of reading his narrative.   
Too often I see wasted potential in the artistic side of VNs. Visual art is important for not only conveying ideas (i.e. a picture of a hallway should look like a hallway, a picture of a girl should look like a girl, etc.), but art can also convey moods. VNs of the same era usually have extremely similar character designs, and there is usually a lack of creativity in artistic style in VNs. While the character designs aren't anything revolutionary (it is admittedly nice that this VN came out before moe blobs became popular though), what is special about the art, is the eternal twilight. Hitomi's world is a world drenched in the orange and reddish hue of twilight, as the VN takes place exclusively during the evening. And coupled with all the things Hitomi experiences, the color of twilight really makes things even more ominous. It instills a feeling of loneliness, or at the very least detachment.

Supporting the artwork in creating an unsettling atmosphere, is the music. The main theme that plays when Hitomi is wandering the school alone (this theme), only reinforces the feelings of detachment that the visual art and writing create. Character themes as well are quite well suited for each of the characters and the moods they represent, further successfully reinforcing the tone of the writing.
Now onto the writing itself. Things are confusing, and they only get more confusing. Any sense of orientation is screwed around with, and this only gets worse as the story continues. You are left thinking "Did what I see actually happen?", until it gets to the point where you just altogether give up on distinguishing reality. In this way, you yourself submit to the insanity and fall further into Hitomi's world. Not knowing what to make of his situation. The only difference between you and him, is that you know he is crazy, but nonetheless identify with him because you experience the same sense of the world as he does. And perhaps weird to say, but the H-scenes in this VN serve to further sympathize with his madness.
When I was telling a (non-VN reading) friend of mine about Sayooshi. He admitted that it sounded interesting, and even could appreciate the use of the H-scenes from an intellectual perspective. But he then told me that what he thought was truly disturbing, was not the use of H-scenes, but that "inevitably there will be people out there that will find it arousing". For him, (and his understanding of what I told him about Sayooshi), the sex scenes, which are exclusively rape scenes, serve to reinforce Hitomi's insanity, and therefore their portrayal is justified. But finding the scenes arousing yourself, is horrific as it is identifying with a monster; like the monster that plagues Hitomi's dreams. But it is here, where I disagree. The VN does everything in its power to have you identify with Hitomi's insanity, and the sex scenes are no exception.
The sex scenes are arousing, despite knowing that they shouldn't be. It isn't just rape, but the Heroines are (supposedly) middle school girls for Christ's sake. Perhaps eroge players (particularly nukige fans) maybe a bit desensitized, but this is certainly fucked up. But just like when Hitomi experiences the dream that plagues him for the first half of the story, he knows he is the monster raping the angel, and there is pleasure still drawn from this. A pleasure that Hitomi knows is horrible and monstrous. But just as Hitomi submits to the role as the monster as he views his nightmare; we are in an identical role, viewing (and partly identifying) with his sexual misdemeanors as he commits them. It coerces you into submitting yourself to the madness of these H-scenes. By doing so an enjoyment is found in them, but for you and Hitomi alike there is a darkness implied in that pleasure. Furthermore, Hitomi seems to understand that he is defiling them. There is a guilt and sense of disgust felt, but also a feeling of extreme excitement, just as we as readers feel. This is shown through the multiple references he makes to 'contaminating the purity of the angel/Mutsuki', to paraphrase what he says. The H-scenes, and our feelings towards them, mirror Hitomi's perspective; furthering our identification with his insanity.
Yet, just like the reoccurring nightmare, the H-scenes almost always end abruptly, and are divorced from continuity. It is not uncommon for an H scene to abruptly happen, end all of a sudden, and the next thing you know you are placed into a completely different context. And not only do the H-scenes lack continuity immediately before and after, but the characters never make reference to it afterwards, and act just as they did before. Further questioning whether they ever really happened. And this confusion surrounding the reality of the h-scenes, makes it easier to identify with Hitomi during them, since the normal consequences and damage caused by rape, do not apply.  

(Perhaps this would be a considered spoiler if I could guarantee that it actually happened )
And for all these reasons, I feel that the thesis of this VN is the fragility of the human mind. Often we draw huge differences between the mentally deranged, and functional normal human beings; but what Sayooshi points out is that the difference is actually rather subtle. In seeing the world Hitomi experiences, and sympathizing with him, it gets us to realize that we ourselves are not that different. That given his circumstances and what he experiences (and seeing it through his eyes), his reactions are actually understandable. The atmosphere of his world, and reading the thoughts of his mind, gets us to question his sanity, and in doing so, eventually gets us to question our own sanity as well.     
Sayooshi in an incredibly strong atmospheric experience. And it is for this reason that I feel Sayooshi is a great representative of the strengths VNs offer as a medium. This VN took advantage of all the tools it had as a VN (music, sound effects, visuals, and narrative) to provide a full experience of what the wanders of a madman look like. I really felt like I understood to a degree what it was like to be insane reading this work, and I don't think I would have been able to identify as well if it were told in any other medium in any other way.  
 
 

I told a couple people I would post my thoughts about Sayonara wo Oshiete when I finished it, and just a few days ago I finished a bad end and Mutsuki's good end. So here are my impressions, thoughts, and analysis of that experience. Also, this post does not contain any significant spoilers to the VN. So its safe for all those that are curious. (Also from here on forward I will refer to Sayonara wo Oshiete as 'Sayooshi')
Before I start talking about Sayooshi, I want to briefly describe the circumstances in which I discovered it. During this past summer, after having studied Japanese (with a grammatical focus) for a while,  I wanted to get a few easy moege under my belt before attempting something I actually wanted to read. I was honestly having a miserable time, as I hate moege. I was reading them for no other reason than to practice and learn Japanese, as they were appropriate for my level. I wasn't having fun, and it honestly felt like work more than anything else. Just as I was about to give up on Untld Vns for the time being, I read a post by Vokoca talking about Sayooshi, and he linked to this video. The unsettling music and ominous imagery instantly piqued my curiosity and I set out to get this VN. For a while I was saving it, still thinking "My Japanese isn't good enough yet", but then at some point in the fall I decided "Fuck it, with the help of dictionaries and text hooking software, I can make this journey", and began reading it whenever I had time. And boy was this a journey worth taking, even if I did proceed through it a bit slowly. 
I love the first person narrative because getting inside the heads of interesting characters is truly experiencing the world through a different person's eyes. And VNs in my view are the best medium for first person narration, as they allow you to to see and hear what the MC experiences. Furthermore, back ground music enriches the story by immersing the reader in the moods of various settings and situations. Sayooshi takes all these strengths of VNs and the first person narrative, and uses it to put you inside the head of a madman. A man whose sense of reality is slipping further and further away by the day. The unreliable narrator is a literary trope that I really enjoy, but this is an area where I think VNs by default have higher potential than books. It is one thing to solely read the mind of a madman/untrustworthy narrator, it is another thing all together to see and hear that man's world, on top of reading his narrative.   
Too often I see wasted potential in the artistic side of VNs. Visual art is important for not only conveying ideas (i.e. a picture of a hallway should look like a hallway, a picture of a girl should look like a girl, etc.), but art can also convey moods. VNs of the same era usually have extremely similar character designs, and there is usually a lack of creativity in artistic style in VNs. While the character designs aren't anything revolutionary (it is admittedly nice that this VN came out before moe blobs became popular though), what is special about the art, is the eternal twilight. Hitomi's world is a world drenched in the orange and reddish hue of twilight, as the VN takes place exclusively during the evening. And coupled with all the things Hitomi experiences, the color of twilight really makes things even more ominous. It instills a feeling of loneliness, or at the very least detachment.

Supporting the artwork in creating an unsettling atmosphere, is the music. The main theme that plays when Hitomi is wandering the school alone (this theme), only reinforces the feelings of detachment that the visual art and writing create. Character themes as well are quite well suited for each of the characters and the moods they represent, further successfully reinforcing the tone of the writing.
Now onto the writing itself. Things are confusing, and they only get more confusing. Any sense of orientation is screwed around with, and this only gets worse as the story continues. You are left thinking "Did what I see actually happen?", until it gets to the point where you just altogether give up on distinguishing reality. In this way, you yourself submit to the insanity and fall further into Hitomi's world. Not knowing what to make of his situation. The only difference between you and him, is that you know he is crazy, but nonetheless identify with him because you experience the same sense of the world as he does. And perhaps weird to say, but the H-scenes in this VN serve to further sympathize with his madness.
When I was telling a (non-VN reading) friend of mine about Sayooshi. He admitted that it sounded interesting, and even could appreciate the use of the H-scenes from an intellectual perspective. But he then told me that what he thought was truly disturbing, was not the use of H-scenes, but that "inevitably there will be people out there that will find it arousing". For him, (and his understanding of what I told him about Sayooshi), the sex scenes, which are exclusively rape scenes, serve to reinforce Hitomi's insanity, and therefore their portrayal is justified. But finding the scenes arousing yourself, is horrific as it is identifying with a monster; like the monster that plagues Hitomi's dreams. But it is here, where I disagree. The VN does everything in its power to have you identify with Hitomi's insanity, and the sex scenes are no exception.
The sex scenes are arousing, despite knowing that they shouldn't be. It isn't just rape, but the Heroines are (supposedly) middle school girls for Christ's sake. Perhaps eroge players (particularly nukige fans) maybe a bit desensitized, but this is certainly fucked up. But just like when Hitomi experiences the dream that plagues him for the first half of the story, he knows he is the monster raping the angel, and there is pleasure still drawn from this. A pleasure that Hitomi knows is horrible and monstrous. But just as Hitomi submits to the role as the monster as he views his nightmare; we are in an identical role, viewing (and partly identifying) with his sexual misdemeanors as he commits them. It coerces you into submitting yourself to the madness of these H-scenes. By doing so an enjoyment is found in them, but for you and Hitomi alike there is a darkness implied in that pleasure. Furthermore, Hitomi seems to understand that he is defiling them. There is a guilt and sense of disgust felt, but also a feeling of extreme excitement, just as we as readers feel. This is shown through the multiple references he makes to 'contaminating the purity of the angel/Mutsuki', to paraphrase what he says. The H-scenes, and our feelings towards them, mirror Hitomi's perspective; furthering our identification with his insanity.
Yet, just like the reoccurring nightmare, the H-scenes almost always end abruptly, and are divorced from continuity. It is not uncommon for an H scene to abruptly happen, end all of a sudden, and the next thing you know you are placed into a completely different context. And not only do the H-scenes lack continuity immediately before and after, but the characters never make reference to it afterwards, and act just as they did before. Further questioning whether they ever really happened. And this confusion surrounding the reality of the h-scenes, makes it easier to identify with Hitomi during them, since the normal consequences and damage caused by rape, do not apply.  

(Perhaps this would be a considered spoiler if I could guarantee that it actually happened )
And for all these reasons, I feel that the thesis of this VN is the fragility of the human mind. Often we draw huge differences between the mentally deranged, and functional normal human beings; but what Sayooshi points out is that the difference is actually rather subtle. In seeing the world Hitomi experiences, and sympathizing with him, it gets us to realize that we ourselves are not that different. That given his circumstances and what he experiences (and seeing it through his eyes), his reactions are actually understandable. The atmosphere of his world, and reading the thoughts of his mind, gets us to question his sanity, and in doing so, eventually gets us to question our own sanity as well.     
Sayooshi in an incredibly strong atmospheric experience. And it is for this reason that I feel Sayooshi is a great representative of the strengths VNs offer as a medium. This VN took advantage of all the tools it had as a VN (music, sound effects, visuals, and narrative) to provide a full experience of what the wanders of a madman look like. I really felt like I understood to a degree what it was like to be insane reading this work, and I don't think I would have been able to identify as well if it were told in any other medium in any other way.  
 
 

I told a couple people I would post my thoughts about Sayonara wo Oshiete when I finished it, and just a few days ago I finished a bad end and Mutsuki's good end. So here are my impressions, thoughts, and analysis of that experience. Also, this post does not contain any significant spoilers to the VN. So its safe for all those that are curious. (Also from here on forward I will refer to Sayonara wo Oshiete as 'Sayooshi')
Before I start talking about Sayooshi, I want to briefly describe the circumstances in which I discovered it. During this past summer, after having studied Japanese (with a grammatical focus) for a while,  I wanted to get a few easy moege under my belt before attempting something I actually wanted to read. I was honestly having a miserable time, as I hate moege. I was reading them for no other reason than to practice and learn Japanese, as they were appropriate for my level. I wasn't having fun, and it honestly felt like work more than anything else. Just as I was about to give up on Untld Vns for the time being, I read a post by Vokoca talking about Sayooshi, and he linked to this video. The unsettling music and ominous imagery instantly piqued my curiosity and I set out to get this VN. For a while I was saving it, still thinking "My Japanese isn't good enough yet", but then at some point in the fall I decided "Fuck it, with the help of dictionaries and text hooking software, I can make this journey", and began reading it whenever I had time. And boy was this a journey worth taking, even if I did proceed through it a bit slowly. 
I love the first person narrative because getting inside the heads of interesting characters is truly experiencing the world through a different person's eyes. And VNs in my view are the best medium for first person narration, as they allow you to to see and hear what the MC experiences. Furthermore, back ground music enriches the story by immersing the reader in the moods of various settings and situations. Sayooshi takes all these strengths of VNs and the first person narrative, and uses it to put you inside the head of a madman. A man whose sense of reality is slipping further and further away by the day. The unreliable narrator is a literary trope that I really enjoy, but this is an area where I think VNs by default have higher potential than books. It is one thing to solely read the mind of a madman/untrustworthy narrator, it is another thing all together to see and hear that man's world, on top of reading his narrative.   
Too often I see wasted potential in the artistic side of VNs. Visual art is important for not only conveying ideas (i.e. a picture of a hallway should look like a hallway, a picture of a girl should look like a girl, etc.), but art can also convey moods. VNs of the same era usually have extremely similar character designs, and there is usually a lack of creativity in artistic style in VNs. While the character designs aren't anything revolutionary (it is admittedly nice that this VN came out before moe blobs became popular though), what is special about the art, is the eternal twilight. Hitomi's world is a world drenched in the orange and reddish hue of twilight, as the VN takes place exclusively during the evening. And coupled with all the things Hitomi experiences, the color of twilight really makes things even more ominous. It instills a feeling of loneliness, or at the very least detachment.

Supporting the artwork in creating an unsettling atmosphere, is the music. The main theme that plays when Hitomi is wandering the school alone (this theme), only reinforces the feelings of detachment that the visual art and writing create. Character themes as well are quite well suited for each of the characters and the moods they represent, further successfully reinforcing the tone of the writing.
Now onto the writing itself. Things are confusing, and they only get more confusing. Any sense of orientation is screwed around with, and this only gets worse as the story continues. You are left thinking "Did what I see actually happen?", until it gets to the point where you just altogether give up on distinguishing reality. In this way, you yourself submit to the insanity and fall further into Hitomi's world. Not knowing what to make of his situation. The only difference between you and him, is that you know he is crazy, but nonetheless identify with him because you experience the same sense of the world as he does. And perhaps weird to say, but the H-scenes in this VN serve to further sympathize with his madness.
When I was telling a (non-VN reading) friend of mine about Sayooshi. He admitted that it sounded interesting, and even could appreciate the use of the H-scenes from an intellectual perspective. But he then told me that what he thought was truly disturbing, was not the use of H-scenes, but that "inevitably there will be people out there that will find it arousing". For him, (and his understanding of what I told him about Sayooshi), the sex scenes, which are exclusively rape scenes, serve to reinforce Hitomi's insanity, and therefore their portrayal is justified. But finding the scenes arousing yourself, is horrific as it is identifying with a monster; like the monster that plagues Hitomi's dreams. But it is here, where I disagree. The VN does everything in its power to have you identify with Hitomi's insanity, and the sex scenes are no exception.
The sex scenes are arousing, despite knowing that they shouldn't be. It isn't just rape, but the Heroines are (supposedly) middle school girls for Christ's sake. Perhaps eroge players (particularly nukige fans) maybe a bit desensitized, but this is certainly fucked up. But just like when Hitomi experiences the dream that plagues him for the first half of the story, he knows he is the monster raping the angel, and there is pleasure still drawn from this. A pleasure that Hitomi knows is horrible and monstrous. But just as Hitomi submits to the role as the monster as he views his nightmare; we are in an identical role, viewing (and partly identifying) with his sexual misdemeanors as he commits them. It coerces you into submitting yourself to the madness of these H-scenes. By doing so an enjoyment is found in them, but for you and Hitomi alike there is a darkness implied in that pleasure. Furthermore, Hitomi seems to understand that he is defiling them. There is a guilt and sense of disgust felt, but also a feeling of extreme excitement, just as we as readers feel. This is shown through the multiple references he makes to 'contaminating the purity of the angel/Mutsuki', to paraphrase what he says. The H-scenes, and our feelings towards them, mirror Hitomi's perspective; furthering our identification with his insanity.
Yet, just like the reoccurring nightmare, the H-scenes almost always end abruptly, and are divorced from continuity. It is not uncommon for an H scene to abruptly happen, end all of a sudden, and the next thing you know you are placed into a completely different context. And not only do the H-scenes lack continuity immediately before and after, but the characters never make reference to it afterwards, and act just as they did before. Further questioning whether they ever really happened. And this confusion surrounding the reality of the h-scenes, makes it easier to identify with Hitomi during them, since the normal consequences and damage caused by rape, do not apply.  

(Perhaps this would be a considered spoiler if I could guarantee that it actually happened )
And for all these reasons, I feel that the thesis of this VN is the fragility of the human mind. Often we draw huge differences between the mentally deranged, and functional normal human beings; but what Sayooshi points out is that the difference is actually rather subtle. In seeing the world Hitomi experiences, and sympathizing with him, it gets us to realize that we ourselves are not that different. That given his circumstances and what he experiences (and seeing it through his eyes), his reactions are actually understandable. The atmosphere of his world, and reading the thoughts of his mind, gets us to question his sanity, and in doing so, eventually gets us to question our own sanity as well.     
Sayooshi in an incredibly strong atmospheric experience. And it is for this reason that I feel Sayooshi is a great representative of the strengths VNs offer as a medium. This VN took advantage of all the tools it had as a VN (music, sound effects, visuals, and narrative) to provide a full experience of what the wanders of a madman look like. I really felt like I understood to a degree what it was like to be insane reading this work, and I don't think I would have been able to identify as well if it were told in any other medium in any other way.  
 
 

I told a couple people I would post my thoughts about Sayonara wo Oshiete when I finished it, and just a few days ago I finished a bad end and Mutsuki's good end. So here are my impressions, thoughts, and analysis of that experience. Also, this post does not contain any significant spoilers to the VN. So its safe for all those that are curious. (Also from here on forward I will refer to Sayonara wo Oshiete as 'Sayooshi')
Before I start talking about Sayooshi, I want to briefly describe the circumstances in which I discovered it. During this past summer, after having studied Japanese (with a grammatical focus) for a while,  I wanted to get a few easy moege under my belt before attempting something I actually wanted to read. I was honestly having a miserable time, as I hate moege. I was reading them for no other reason than to practice and learn Japanese, as they were appropriate for my level. I wasn't having fun, and it honestly felt like work more than anything else. Just as I was about to give up on Untld Vns for the time being, I read a post by Vokoca talking about Sayooshi, and he linked to this video. The unsettling music and ominous imagery instantly piqued my curiosity and I set out to get this VN. For a while I was saving it, still thinking "My Japanese isn't good enough yet", but then at some point in the fall I decided "Fuck it, with the help of dictionaries and text hooking software, I can make this journey", and began reading it whenever I had time. And boy was this a journey worth taking, even if I did proceed through it a bit slowly. 
I love the first person narrative because getting inside the heads of interesting characters is truly experiencing the world through a different person's eyes. And VNs in my view are the best medium for first person narration, as they allow you to to see and hear what the MC experiences. Furthermore, back ground music enriches the story by immersing the reader in the moods of various settings and situations. Sayooshi takes all these strengths of VNs and the first person narrative, and uses it to put you inside the head of a madman. A man whose sense of reality is slipping further and further away by the day. The unreliable narrator is a literary trope that I really enjoy, but this is an area where I think VNs by default have higher potential than books. It is one thing to solely read the mind of a madman/untrustworthy narrator, it is another thing all together to see and hear that man's world, on top of reading his narrative.   
Too often I see wasted potential in the artistic side of VNs. Visual art is important for not only conveying ideas (i.e. a picture of a hallway should look like a hallway, a picture of a girl should look like a girl, etc.), but art can also convey moods. VNs of the same era usually have extremely similar character designs, and there is usually a lack of creativity in artistic style in VNs. While the character designs aren't anything revolutionary (it is admittedly nice that this VN came out before moe blobs became popular though), what is special about the art, is the eternal twilight. Hitomi's world is a world drenched in the orange and reddish hue of twilight, as the VN takes place exclusively during the evening. And coupled with all the things Hitomi experiences, the color of twilight really makes things even more ominous. It instills a feeling of loneliness, or at the very least detachment.

Supporting the artwork in creating an unsettling atmosphere, is the music. The main theme that plays when Hitomi is wandering the school alone (this theme), only reinforces the feelings of detachment that the visual art and writing create. Character themes as well are quite well suited for each of the characters and the moods they represent, further successfully reinforcing the tone of the writing.
Now onto the writing itself. Things are confusing, and they only get more confusing. Any sense of orientation is screwed around with, and this only gets worse as the story continues. You are left thinking "Did what I see actually happen?", until it gets to the point where you just altogether give up on distinguishing reality. In this way, you yourself submit to the insanity and fall further into Hitomi's world. Not knowing what to make of his situation. The only difference between you and him, is that you know he is crazy, but nonetheless identify with him because you experience the same sense of the world as he does. And perhaps weird to say, but the H-scenes in this VN serve to further sympathize with his madness.
When I was telling a (non-VN reading) friend of mine about Sayooshi. He admitted that it sounded interesting, and even could appreciate the use of the H-scenes from an intellectual perspective. But he then told me that what he thought was truly disturbing, was not the use of H-scenes, but that "inevitably there will be people out there that will find it arousing". For him, (and his understanding of what I told him about Sayooshi), the sex scenes, which are exclusively rape scenes, serve to reinforce Hitomi's insanity, and therefore their portrayal is justified. But finding the scenes arousing yourself, is horrific as it is identifying with a monster; like the monster that plagues Hitomi's dreams. But it is here, where I disagree. The VN does everything in its power to have you identify with Hitomi's insanity, and the sex scenes are no exception.
The sex scenes are arousing, despite knowing that they shouldn't be. It isn't just rape, but the Heroines are (supposedly) middle school girls for Christ's sake. Perhaps eroge players (particularly nukige fans) maybe a bit desensitized, but this is certainly fucked up. But just like when Hitomi experiences the dream that plagues him for the first half of the story, he knows he is the monster raping the angel, and there is pleasure still drawn from this. A pleasure that Hitomi knows is horrible and monstrous. But just as Hitomi submits to the role as the monster as he views his nightmare; we are in an identical role, viewing (and partly identifying) with his sexual misdemeanors as he commits them. It coerces you into submitting yourself to the madness of these H-scenes. By doing so an enjoyment is found in them, but for you and Hitomi alike there is a darkness implied in that pleasure. Furthermore, Hitomi seems to understand that he is defiling them. There is a guilt and sense of disgust felt, but also a feeling of extreme excitement, just as we as readers feel. This is shown through the multiple references he makes to 'contaminating the purity of the angel/Mutsuki', to paraphrase what he says. The H-scenes, and our feelings towards them, mirror Hitomi's perspective; furthering our identification with his insanity.
Yet, just like the reoccurring nightmare, the H-scenes almost always end abruptly, and are divorced from continuity. It is not uncommon for an H scene to abruptly happen, end all of a sudden, and the next thing you know you are placed into a completely different context. And not only do the H-scenes lack continuity immediately before and after, but the characters never make reference to it afterwards, and act just as they did before. Further questioning whether they ever really happened. And this confusion surrounding the reality of the h-scenes, makes it easier to identify with Hitomi during them, since the normal consequences and damage caused by rape, do not apply.  

(Perhaps this would be a considered spoiler if I could guarantee that it actually happened )
And for all these reasons, I feel that the thesis of this VN is the fragility of the human mind. Often we draw huge differences between the mentally deranged, and functional normal human beings; but what Sayooshi points out is that the difference is actually rather subtle. In seeing the world Hitomi experiences, and sympathizing with him, it gets us to realize that we ourselves are not that different. That given his circumstances and what he experiences (and seeing it through his eyes), his reactions are actually understandable. The atmosphere of his world, and reading the thoughts of his mind, gets us to question his sanity, and in doing so, eventually gets us to question our own sanity as well.     
Sayooshi in an incredibly strong atmospheric experience. And it is for this reason that I feel Sayooshi is a great representative of the strengths VNs offer as a medium. This VN took advantage of all the tools it had as a VN (music, sound effects, visuals, and narrative) to provide a full experience of what the wanders of a madman look like. I really felt like I understood to a degree what it was like to be insane reading this work, and I don't think I would have been able to identify as well if it were told in any other medium in any other way.  
 
 

I told a couple people I would post my thoughts about Sayonara wo Oshiete when I finished it, and just a few days ago I finished a bad end and Mutsuki's good end. So here are my impressions, thoughts, and analysis of that experience. Also, this post does not contain any significant spoilers to the VN. So its safe for all those that are curious. (Also from here on forward I will refer to Sayonara wo Oshiete as 'Sayooshi')
Before I start talking about Sayooshi, I want to briefly describe the circumstances in which I discovered it. During this past summer, after having studied Japanese (with a grammatical focus) for a while,  I wanted to get a few easy moege under my belt before attempting something I actually wanted to read. I was honestly having a miserable time, as I hate moege. I was reading them for no other reason than to practice and learn Japanese, as they were appropriate for my level. I wasn't having fun, and it honestly felt like work more than anything else. Just as I was about to give up on Untld Vns for the time being, I read a post by Vokoca talking about Sayooshi, and he linked to this video. The unsettling music and ominous imagery instantly piqued my curiosity and I set out to get this VN. For a while I was saving it, still thinking "My Japanese isn't good enough yet", but then at some point in the fall I decided "Fuck it, with the help of dictionaries and text hooking software, I can make this journey", and began reading it whenever I had time. And boy was this a journey worth taking, even if I did proceed through it a bit slowly. 
I love the first person narrative because getting inside the heads of interesting characters is truly experiencing the world through a different person's eyes. And VNs in my view are the best medium for first person narration, as they allow you to to see and hear what the MC experiences. Furthermore, back ground music enriches the story by immersing the reader in the moods of various settings and situations. Sayooshi takes all these strengths of VNs and the first person narrative, and uses it to put you inside the head of a madman. A man whose sense of reality is slipping further and further away by the day. The unreliable narrator is a literary trope that I really enjoy, but this is an area where I think VNs by default have higher potential than books. It is one thing to solely read the mind of a madman/untrustworthy narrator, it is another thing all together to see and hear that man's world, on top of reading his narrative.   
Too often I see wasted potential in the artistic side of VNs. Visual art is important for not only conveying ideas (i.e. a picture of a hallway should look like a hallway, a picture of a girl should look like a girl, etc.), but art can also convey moods. VNs of the same era usually have extremely similar character designs, and there is usually a lack of creativity in artistic style in VNs. While the character designs aren't anything revolutionary (it is admittedly nice that this VN came out before moe blobs became popular though), what is special about the art, is the eternal twilight. Hitomi's world is a world drenched in the orange and reddish hue of twilight, as the VN takes place exclusively during the evening. And coupled with all the things Hitomi experiences, the color of twilight really makes things even more ominous. It instills a feeling of loneliness, or at the very least detachment.

Supporting the artwork in creating an unsettling atmosphere, is the music. The main theme that plays when Hitomi is wandering the school alone (this theme), only reinforces the feelings of detachment that the visual art and writing create. Character themes as well are quite well suited for each of the characters and the moods they represent, further successfully reinforcing the tone of the writing.
Now onto the writing itself. Things are confusing, and they only get more confusing. Any sense of orientation is screwed around with, and this only gets worse as the story continues. You are left thinking "Did what I see actually happen?", until it gets to the point where you just altogether give up on distinguishing reality. In this way, you yourself submit to the insanity and fall further into Hitomi's world. Not knowing what to make of his situation. The only difference between you and him, is that you know he is crazy, but nonetheless identify with him because you experience the same sense of the world as he does. And perhaps weird to say, but the H-scenes in this VN serve to further sympathize with his madness.
When I was telling a (non-VN reading) friend of mine about Sayooshi. He admitted that it sounded interesting, and even could appreciate the use of the H-scenes from an intellectual perspective. But he then told me that what he thought was truly disturbing, was not the use of H-scenes, but that "inevitably there will be people out there that will find it arousing". For him, (and his understanding of what I told him about Sayooshi), the sex scenes, which are exclusively rape scenes, serve to reinforce Hitomi's insanity, and therefore their portrayal is justified. But finding the scenes arousing yourself, is horrific as it is identifying with a monster; like the monster that plagues Hitomi's dreams. But it is here, where I disagree. The VN does everything in its power to have you identify with Hitomi's insanity, and the sex scenes are no exception.
The sex scenes are arousing, despite knowing that they shouldn't be. It isn't just rape, but the Heroines are (supposedly) middle school girls for Christ's sake. Perhaps eroge players (particularly nukige fans) maybe a bit desensitized, but this is certainly fucked up. But just like when Hitomi experiences the dream that plagues him for the first half of the story, he knows he is the monster raping the angel, and there is pleasure still drawn from this. A pleasure that Hitomi knows is horrible and monstrous. But just as Hitomi submits to the role as the monster as he views his nightmare; we are in an identical role, viewing (and partly identifying) with his sexual misdemeanors as he commits them. It coerces you into submitting yourself to the madness of these H-scenes. By doing so an enjoyment is found in them, but for you and Hitomi alike there is a darkness implied in that pleasure. Furthermore, Hitomi seems to understand that he is defiling them. There is a guilt and sense of disgust felt, but also a feeling of extreme excitement, just as we as readers feel. This is shown through the multiple references he makes to 'contaminating the purity of the angel/Mutsuki', to paraphrase what he says. The H-scenes, and our feelings towards them, mirror Hitomi's perspective; furthering our identification with his insanity.
Yet, just like the reoccurring nightmare, the H-scenes almost always end abruptly, and are divorced from continuity. It is not uncommon for an H scene to abruptly happen, end all of a sudden, and the next thing you know you are placed into a completely different context. And not only do the H-scenes lack continuity immediately before and after, but the characters never make reference to it afterwards, and act just as they did before. Further questioning whether they ever really happened. And this confusion surrounding the reality of the h-scenes, makes it easier to identify with Hitomi during them, since the normal consequences and damage caused by rape, do not apply.  

(Perhaps this would be a considered spoiler if I could guarantee that it actually happened )
And for all these reasons, I feel that the thesis of this VN is the fragility of the human mind. Often we draw huge differences between the mentally deranged, and functional normal human beings; but what Sayooshi points out is that the difference is actually rather subtle. In seeing the world Hitomi experiences, and sympathizing with him, it gets us to realize that we ourselves are not that different. That given his circumstances and what he experiences (and seeing it through his eyes), his reactions are actually understandable. The atmosphere of his world, and reading the thoughts of his mind, gets us to question his sanity, and in doing so, eventually gets us to question our own sanity as well.     
Sayooshi in an incredibly strong atmospheric experience. And it is for this reason that I feel Sayooshi is a great representative of the strengths VNs offer as a medium. This VN took advantage of all the tools it had as a VN (music, sound effects, visuals, and narrative) to provide a full experience of what the wanders of a madman look like. I really felt like I understood to a degree what it was like to be insane reading this work, and I don't think I would have been able to identify as well if it were told in any other medium in any other way.  
 
 

Just an introduction to my blog, but being me I had to take advantage of a pretentious sounding title just for the fun of it. In any case, on to the point.
At their best, I find Visual Novels to be the most immersive medium of written fiction. I enjoy literature, but often I appreciate it more from an intellectual/contemplative standpoint than through an enjoyment factor. Great VNs however, are in my mind the best of both worlds (I can read them for fun, and they leave me with something to think about and to intellectually digest.) Perhaps I am a bit jaded, but there are a relative small amount of VNs that fit my tastes. But when I do read VNs that truly impact me, I like to organize my thoughts on them through writing. I've already written a few articles in the past (Kanon: Mai and Sayuri Analysis, Narcissu and Death, and Perspective in Saya no Uta), but I think I will place future submissions here. Also, I may write my thoughts on anime and some Japanese Video Games on occasion as well. This is meant to be my all purpose Otaku blog.
Getting on a bit more of a personal level, I've been reading Visual Novels since my early adolescence (since I was 13). The first VN to really introduce all the bewitching and immersive powers of this medium to me was Yume Miru Kusuri. Admittedly I did dabble a bit in VNs before YMK, but they were more like 1-off experiences. They didn't really get me interested in the broader VN medium like YMK succeeded in doing. I still remember that one day during my 8th grade winter break when I first read it. Everything from the music, characters, art, and especially the MC's witty narration took me away. I spent that whole day in bed reading it until I finished. Whenever I search for a VN to read, I always hope it will have the same captivating and magical effect that YMK had on me all those years ago. 
Additionally, I've been a part of Fuwanovel for almost 3 years now, joining back in March of 2013. I've met many interesting people here, and it is one of the few forums that I actually still participate in. Granted, it should be known that my activity functions through bursts. Usually I get really active for a while, and then spend a long while on hiatus, and then return to being really active again. This has been true for not only my whole time on Fuwa, but I functioned similarly in previous forums I used to be active on. So if you ever see that my account hasn't been active for months, I'm not dead, just hibernating.
This post maybe a bit short, but I think it served its purpose as an introduction. And besides, I should have my first real blog post submitted a little later today, which should make up for the brevity in this one.

Would have liked to put the main title, but it's NSFW. Introduction:Koukyuu Shoufu （高級娼婦）, is the first of two games (the second being Hotel Ergiffen) released in 2002 by the unknown and defunct company Maple. It boasts an unusual painted art style by Haimura Kiyotaka (灰村 キヨタカ). These being his early works, he is much better known for his art in Yume Miru Kusuri （ユメミルクスリ） and the anime Toaru Majutsu no Index. This game is obscure. Like 1 vote on VNDB obsure. I could only find one (japanese) review of the game outside of eroge gamescape. As an old game without any well known company to be associated with, or classic status, it's been totally forgotten over the years. As an author's and writer's pet project, doubtless it was never well known to begin with. And yet, I find the game, and the two others similiar to it, quite enjoyable for the work the artist and writer put into them. Premise:Our protagonist Ouran, is a prodigal musician in Renaissance Europe.  He used to play for the royal courts: people would pay a great deal to hear him play. That was, until a foul plot left him unwelcome in the palace. And so to the streets he went, left with but the clothes on his back. A mysterious lady comes, the widow of a baron. She's seen him before, apparently, and offers to give him room and board, in exchange for teaching music to some of her subjects. He's more than happy to grab this chance. A few hours a day lets him squander the remaining drinking his devils away. Then, one day the landlord shows him two girls, Elsa and Emilia. Their dance and song leave an impression on him.As he belatedly learns, the Lady dealt in the pleasure sector. Why she was running such a shady business out of her own volition, he did not know.At the start of novel he's presented with a choice.  Having seen the potential in the two girls, the Lady wants Ouran to be instruct the two girls on prostitution and how to carry themselves among the opposite sex. She had them becoming, not a common whore but a courtesan in her sights. He was not particularly fond of the arrangement, but the Lady was correct in her assessment: as such a man of pursued skills, he could not so easily abandon potential talent. He would show them that much pity. The two were more oblivious than most, he later glumly admitted. Perhaps that was to be expected. To say "whore" is but a single word, and yet the path towards being one is littered with feelings of confusion and torment, of emptiness and shame. But there was still something in each of the girls which drew him. Perhaps there was something else to be found within these two months, however insignificant and transient. Through conversation, Ouran learn more about the two girls and the landlady(the baron's widow), and various going-on's of the world. The two girls Elsa and Emilia, meanwhile, follow the only path they have. CharactersEmilia (the girl in the opening picture)  is perhaps the more expected of the two heroines. I don't really have a good grasp of her character, but I keenly felt her thoughts throughout the story. I really felt bad for her...Every step of the way, she was suffering. I found the setting pretty seamless in that characters' pasts fit within the setting, and minor characters had their own personalities. You didn't know exactly their nature the moment you saw them, you had to judge them as you met them.  Here's Annet, one of the minor characters. She's ill-tempered, way older than she looks, and a bit of an enigma. And Analiza, the owner of the brothel. Even though there wasn't much on-screen plot, as a backdrop, the topic of the royal court （王宮） was brought up occasionally, along with that of rumors, marriages, families, and ranks. Overall for me there were many unfamiliar concepts. System:The production values are low overall, though the art, music, and text are arguably quite decent. It's also a pretty short game. It's worth noting that the game is raising sim (albeit a crude and cryptic one: I couldn't clear the damn thing!). Besides that, all the scenes happen between brief game menu's, seperate from each other. This is a common feature with this game and Hotel Erigriffen. It'd say it's pretty appropriate. It makes you step back after every scene and go "hmm" at what just happened, and before you click it, wonder what's going to happen in the next scene. Ero and PlotThere's one sequence of scenes for each of the two girls when the MC instructs them on the ways of courtesans. The scenes were completely different from the typical cliche anime presentation. I didn't find myself ever criticizing the unbelievability of the ero in the back of my mind. It was less the scenes were realistic, and more like a real life counterpart didn't really come to mind. The threshold between the ero and the plot was basically almost zero: they were pretty much entwined. The erotic presentation in those scenes was probably designed in some fashion, but they were also a major part where the MC would interact with the girls.  The AtmosphereMy greatest praise for the two games is how the text, the art, and music, all work together to create the atmosphere.  The music, likely to draw puzzled stares listened in a vaccumn, is shatteringly effective in conjugation with the art and text. To speak of the prose, there's not much objective I can say about it. If you like it you'll love it, if not you won't. While not repetitive, it's long-winded and can be hard to read. While the art in both games has the same painting art style, if you compare Koukyuu Shofu's art to Hotel Ergriffen's, you'll find the differences which resulted from the two atmospheres the games strives to bring out. The former brings out the European historic era with shades of red, maroon, brown, tan, orange, gray: all colours of the wood, garments, and furnishings of the presented world. Hotel Ergriffen's slightly disshapen heads bring out a mild sense of horror to the dreamlike atmosphere. The background is a blur of warm colorful specks with colors a mix between faint neons signs and city lights, and colour of reflected oil. The surroundings are often barely in focus. The colour scheme is "pink, green, white, and beige". Conclusion:Koukyuu Shoufu didn't leave me satisfied. But it was something different and something I don't regret seeing. It's like the author and Haimura banded up to bring the author's vision and Haimura's art to life. It's kind of brief and unsatisfying, but they get full points for embodying a style. The vn's never felt like the staff was being lazy with the writing, art, or characters. And that's why I didn't mind bearing with the janky interface and lack of satisfaction.  Koukyuu Shoufu is one of the three games by this pair. The other two are Hotel Ergriffen and Minato Gensou (which actually takes place in the same location and shares some characters with Koukyuu Shoufu), which I'm reading now. Koukyuu Shoufu is probably the weakest out of the three games, because it's so limited, while not aiming for the crazy dream-like sensorial experience of Hotel Ergrifen. But, if the aforementioned portrayal of 'something' and the art interests you, you'll probably find any of these three novels somewhat enjoyable. 

I'm guessing some of those that follow my blog are wondering why I haven't started up any random VNs this month... there are a number of reasons.
1) I'm busy.  I have my work, with an addition of university, which takes up about 80% of my time, save for a few days like today when I have time to rest and relax.
2) I simply don't have an appreciation for anything in my backlog right now.  I cleared out most of the most interesting stuff over the last two years, and I'm keeping what little is left for a truly rainy day, when I'm not busy and I don't have anything better to do.
3)  This has been a very dry quarter.  July, August, and September were mostly dry of interesting releases, and I'm saving up energy for Kenseiki Alpha Ride, which I promised certain people I would play early on, rather than waiting until a later date as I commonly do with most gameplay-VNs.
4) This has been a particularly bad month irl.  I've been helping my brother get ready to move his family into our place for a few months while their old place is on the market and they are closing on their new place, I've been applying for a graduate program, and I got several major commissions that have kept me locked down a lot more than I would have liked.
5) I promised myself I wouldn't play any more moege/charage until I've played Kenseiki or the new Fortissimo. 
Now for my thoughts...  Today's post is going to be focused on what makes a good chuunige.
I should probably define the origins of chuuni as opposed to what a chuunige is.  First of all, if any of you have seen Chuunibyou demo Koi ga Shitai, you have at least a vague idea of what chuunibyou is like.  Basically, take your average D&D nut or cosplayer and add some delusions of glory to him, and you have a chuunibyou patient.  That's simplifying matters somewhat, but it is also fairly accurate for a good portion of them, though.
Chuuni, on the other hand, is literature, games, anime, etc. that feels like it comes out of the mind of a chuunibyou patient.  Drama on a large scale, often in somewhat familiar settings, is probably the easiest and most obvious way to tell if something is chuuni.  In addition, in a good chuuni-anything, the protagonist is never a self-insert carbon copy of your average harem-building protagonist.  I say this because it is the easiest way to tell when something isn't a chuunige, as chuuni protagonists are supposed to experience and/or be something that is beyond what you can experience in your life, whether it is psychologically or physically. 
Most chuunige have action of some sort, but not all of them do.  A famous chuunige that isn't mostly action - that a lot of you will have played - is G-senjou no Maou.  In a way, Sharin no Kuni can also be considered a chuunige, for a similar reason. 
The more 'standard' type of chuunige is the 'gakuen battle' type.  The most obvious translated examples of this are Tsukihime, FSN, and Comyu.  In this type, a schoolkid somehow gets mixed up in a horrible situation that should kill him right off the bat, but he somehow survives to become central to 'the conflict'. 
A rarer type is the 'mature protagonist taking on the world' type.  This is easily my favorite type, as protagonists in these VNs tend to have more solid philosophies and are less... idiotic.  I think most people will agree that Shirou from FSN is a bit immature, though he had mature aspects.  However, protagonists in these are adults, whether they are grown up fully or not.  An example of this type that is translated would be Sharin no Kuni's protagonist.  For untranslated, Hello, Lady and Vermillion Bind of Blood (Toshiro from Vermillion reminds me of Auron from FF X, hahaha)  come to mind.  Generally speaking, the themes of these VNs will be a lot larger in scale than you usually see in the gakuen battle types.  This is because the themes are generally written to keep pace with the protagonists, lol. 
The last type is the 'poetic' type, where a writer is obviously masturbating with his keyboard.  Masada's works are the most obvious examples of this (Dies Irae, Paradise Lost, Kajiri Kamui Kagura), though Light's 'other' chuuni-crew also writes similar VNs, and Devils Devel Concept and Bradyon Veda by Akatsuki Works both fall into this category.  In this type of chuunige, the action, the story, and the visuals all exist as an excuse for the writer to try to blow you away.  Currently, the only one of this type in translation is Tokyo Babel, whose release is sometime off... though I'm tempted to include Sekien no Inganock in this crew.  For someone who loves complex, deep prose, these VNs are pure crack... but in exchange, they are also incredibly difficult to read for someone not native to the language.
Overall, reading chuunige is all about having fun.  It isn't about being moe-ed to death or being awed by the pretty pastel colors... it is about enjoying the part of you that never quite gave up that desire to be or see something more...

*** astro has shared contact details with Joe. ***
Joe: Hi astro, I'm wondering can u pls translate Aiyoku no Eustia?
 
Me: sorry I really don't have time to take on more projects right now
 
Joe: But it's a rly good game
 
Me: I'm sure it is. look, I hope that you're not asking me to do it for free at the very least - I don't even know who the heck you are
 
Joe: Well how long will it take u to do it? I can pay u $2000 at most depending on how long it takes
 
Me: ...Do you have any idea how long the game is?
 
Joe: No idk japanese so I've never played it before
 

 
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Well, this isn't really Tay's fault, but my rule of thumb is to always blame Tay. taypls

This rant stemmed from a conversation on Twitter. I'm posting this here purely because posting this line by line on Twitter seemed retarded, and I'd disable the forum notifications for this post if I could. You can dig through my recent Twitter replies if you want to see the context. Have fun.
***
The problem is a bit more complicated than "some people don't like what I have to say". Sure, there's that, but the majority of detractors don't like how I raise my voice to be heard through the din. The majority of eroge fans are content to stay within their walled communities and gossip amongst each other. A few bloggers have appeared, but again they keep to themselves and expect their audience to come to them.
I've challenged this status quo. I've decided to be the black sheep that actually promotes his content: after all, why would anyone devote any amount of effort to writing for the smallest audience possible? I write to make a difference. I write to be recognized as a community leader. I'm not content with just being heard by a single insular community of hardcore fans. I can't accomplish anything like that.
I consider myself an industry activist. I do what the industry refuses to do: market and promote itself. In a community where freeloading is the norm, active promotion is very much frowned upon. Yet spurring people to buy stuff is incredibly important if eroge fans want to have a say in English localization. I want to be the facilitator that bridges the gap between eroge companies and the VN community. I want to be the voice for eroge fans when companies cross the line, thinking that sales are more important than the wishes of the fanbase. I can't do all of this by just whining in threads on Fuwanovel about the success of the Sakura series while games like Seinarukana remain in obscurity.
Mainstream activists make a living off what they do. I do what I do almost entirely for free, with the simple request that people click my affiliate links when they buy a game because of the content I provide. I would say that criticism of me is hypocritical, yet I realize that only a year ago I'd probably have said that what I do is distasteful. If things would get done without me, I'd be willing to pass the baton and go back to an online life of obscurity. If good content promoted itself, I wouldn't need to try to so hard to get the word out. But well, life isn't fair, honest effort isn't necessarily rewarded, and mediocrity is the formula for success. If I don't promote my content, no one else will. That's just how it is.
Long rant. I'm not going to post this on Twitter line by line.
Note: This is meant to be a conversation between me and my followers. If you say something unconstructive or just piss me off, I'll start deleting comments without warning. You have been warned.

Introduction:
 
When it comes to reading VN's in Japanese, required skills can be grouped into four areas: Vocab, grammar, basic parsing skill, and kanji skill. In this post, for each area I'm going to explain:
-what knowing skills in the area are good for
-how you might study them
-how much you'll need to start reading.
I'll also give some related tips.
 
The requirements mentioned below are a conservative estimate. I've known people who've jumped in to playing VN's with less or much less, but I'm giving a safe estimate. A level which at most people, without any special knack for learning languages through immersion, should be able to gain traction. If you learn this much before starting an easyish VN, the amount you are completely lost should be significantly less than the percentage you are able to pick up and improve from.
 
This is not a comprehensive how-to guide by any means. Just an informative post.
 
------------------
 
1. Vocab
 
Knowing enough vocab to study your grammar resource without being bogged down by vocab:
-About 30 verbs and 50 other words for Genki 1/ Tae kim Basic.
-By the time you get to Genki 2/Tae Kim Essential you'll want a good set of verbs (about 100), and maybe about 300 total vocabulary.
-~600 words about how much you'll want to be able to study N3 grammar without getting bogged down in vocab.
 
Having enough vocab to start your first VN:
-I recommend over 1000, but anywhere from 800-1300 is good. I remember trying Clannad with only 800, and I felt like ramming my head into a wall. It's also important to pick an easy title. It will still feel hard no matter what, but an easy title will be much more helpful and rewarding to play. You also must just translation aggregator and ITH. They are the reason why Visual Novels are the best medium for learning Japanese out of anime/books/movies/drama/etc.
 
Vocab Lists:
There's a dedicated verb list here: http://nihongoichiban.com/2012/08/13/list-of-all-verbs-for-the-jlpt-n4/
Verbs are helpful to learn, because they are often the most important part of the sentence AND you need to to have stuff to conjugate.
In general JLPT-based vocab list is here: http://www.tanos.co.uk/jlpt/jlpt5/vocab/
 
Regarding English definitions:
Be mentally open and flexible. If the english definition doesn't quite add up, don't try and think about it too hard. Focus instead on associating the word with the situations where you see it.
For example, you might be confused by the word 都合 and it's unhelpful definition J-E definition, but if you seen 都合がいい used in a situation where you know it means "is convenient for me" from context then remember that occurence. There might be (there are, in fact), other usages of the word 都合, but that doesn't hurt you in anyway. The next time you see 都合 you can pair it against this meaning and see if that makes any sense.
 
2. Grammar Skills
 
With N5+N4 grammar you will be barely able to start making your way through a VN. Without N4, you will have quite limited gains in the long term from reading visual novels. (Equivalent to Genki 1+2.)
-Required to be able to play VN's
 
With N3 grammar, everything will feel a lot clearer, the amount of grammar you'll understand will exceed 60%. (Equiv. to Intermediate approach to Integrated Japanese). Highly recommended to study this before or soon after you start your first VN.
 
N2 grammar further cuts the amount of unknown grammar you face in three.
 
N1 is kind of like a bonus that gives you a lot of uncommon or formal expressions. It's NOT comprehensive at all, in terms of covered all Japanese phrases. From my experience, some of the phrases you learn in here show up often in novels (ばかり、んばかり), others quite less. Good to know, though
 
Expressions not covered in JLPT
There are a lot of patterns and phrases not covered in JLPT that you will see in typical native reading material. Examples (社長に議長, phrases like なんだと！？ Xってなんだ？　ですって！？　～てくれないかな。 オレって、なんてバカなんだ ) Not to worry, many of them can be picked up as you go. For the rest, once you get settled into reading, you can start noting down those phrases you don't get and google them or ask other people.
 
Imabi for grammar
You can also try studying from http://www.imabi.net/. It's a phenomenal reference, it's just goes into tons of depth, too much. I think there's 2 or 3 times as much information there is covered by JLPT up to JLPT 1. As such it's going to be overwhelming for a beginner and is much better suited as a reference for intermediate or advanced learners.
 
3. Basic Parsing Skill
 
Knowing the different types of words (Covered by doing a vocab list of about 100 verbs, and then the JLPT 5 list. You also have to have done or be doing Tae Kim's Basic Guide, since he explains what na-adj's, i-adj's, and other word types are, etc.).
-(nouns, suru-verbs/nouns, verbs, na-adj's, i-adj's, adverbs, temporal adverbs)
-Required to be able to play VN's.
 
Knowing the basic sentence structure and how words can modify each other and fit in a sentence.: (adjectives modifying nouns, verbs).
The knowledge is covered by Tae Kim Basic + a mix of Essential Grammar and Genki 1/2. I personally find Tae Kim's explanation good even though the learning curve is steep and his lessons aren't good for review like Genki books are. He tries to convey to you the big picture.
-Required to be able to play VN's.
 
Being able to breakdown sentences and spot the different types of words based on their position.
-you can practice this by reading bits of text in your genki textbook, but more likely, the first time you really gain this skill is going to be the first month in which you read a visual novel with TA. Heavily practiced during your first month or two of reading VN's.
 
4. Kanji Skill:
 
Learning to spots radicals in kanji (could be covered by doing the 214 radicals, about 1 month. You could also do this ongoing basis, learning how to spot the radicals that make up a kanji, for the words you learn.)
-not needed to read VN's with TL aggregator, but extremely helpful for learning new words which have new kanji.
 
Learning to remember kanji, ie. start recognizing when words share the same kanji. (it is a long ongoing gradual process. You can start doing this with the vocab you learn once you are comfortable learning vocab. You can also pick out words you see in vn's and check whether they use the same kanji by typing them out (example 朝（あさ）　and　朝食（ちょうしょく）　use the same kanji.). Oh course, to be able to easily produce the kanji you want to compare you need to remember how to spell a word that contains it (in this case 朝). So, as your vocab expands, you'll be able to compare more kanji. Note that to be able to do this comparing you must be able to spot radicals in kanji (previous level skill).
-moderately helpful for learning vocabs. The same way remembering radicals helps learning with kanji: if you know the kanji clearly, you can remember a word just by the two kanji it uses, which is very precise and doesn't take a lot of mental bandwidth. It also means that you will much more rarely confuse words which have similiar looking kanji.
 
The following two skills are for more advanced, they won't be particularly useful until much later. You might not notice the problems they solve until later as well. I include them mainly for completeness.
Learning on-yomi for many of the Jyouyou kanji (start when you are intermediate-advanced, a medium-long process)
-helpful for exactly what it is, reading kanji words and compounds correctly.
-don't need to worry about this. From learning vocab you might pick up some of the common ones, but there's no need to pursue this actively for a while.
 
Learning kanji meaning: (start when you are advanced, and can use a J-J dictionary)
-suffixes like 府、省、性、症, as well normal kanji whose different meanings apply to clusters of words.
-helpful for kanji compounds which won't directly show up in dictionaries
-helpful for developing a native level understanding of vocabulary (not everything can be learned by exposure). A lot of literary words are fairly influenced by their kanji meanings, though sometimes consulting the word differentiation explanations can be more helpful.
 
 
 
One last topic...
 
On learning enough grammar and jumping into works too difficult for you.
Reading a VN isn't the best way to learn basic sentence structure. However, it's a great way to reinforce grammar points you've learned. It's also a great way to get an understanding of conversational patterns you won't find in textbooks or JLPT. But you won't have the presence of mind to pay attention to that if you are bogged down by not knowing basic grammar.
There are benefits for venturing early into native material or difficult vn's, but you wouldn't give a grade two student Tolkien, or even Harry Potter to improve their English. All the fancy prose and unusual concept would distract you from the more immediately useful things like, say: basic sentence structure.
There are works which are the right level, and there are VN's which you really want to read. For the best experience, it's best to find some combination of the two.
 
------------------
 
Ok that's all for now. Feel free to ask any questions: I didn't really go into the details of how to study, instead focusing on the, well, skills involved. But it's also hard to remember what it's like for someone just starting out. I remember parts of studying very clearly, but I forget the thousands of things I used to be puzzled through varying stages of understanding but now take for granted.
The process was all I could think about for the longest time. Now I don't give it much thought, it's just a regular part of my life, reading and a bit of studying. It's not bad idea, to just find a type of study that you know is helpful, stop thinking about all the right ways and wrong ways and magic tricks which don't exist, and just do it, for a while. Regularly. For a month or three.

A year has already passed since I started, so I decided to write something about the things I did and some things I have learned.
 

I did say a year but actually, I informally began from the time I started watching anime. What I did was to listen attentively to the lines of the characters while associating them to the subtitle and to the scene. Doing this, I learned basic grammar and basic vocabulary.
 
The formal endeavor started on Sept. 10, 2014. I learned kana and some 300 basic kanji through writing. I doubt someone will do this but still, I do not recommend to do the same as writing takes a lot of time and it doesn't help that much in reading. Reading can only be learned by doing the actual reading. (But doing something others cannot, is always fun.)
 
I came to fuwa, met rains, then found a good news. Learning japanese can be done while reading visual novels.
 
After 3.5 months, I decided to read my first raw vn since I already learned basic grammar, basic vocab, kana, and some 300 kanji.
 

 
My first game was a moege. I started with this type of game because I heard around the forums that moege is the easiest type of game. But it was not easy.
 
I'm a perfectionist so I worked hard to understand every single line, while reading it several times aloud, until I can speak it fluently. Darn perfectionist. Because of this method, a month has already passed yet I haven't even reached the 1st choice. Something has to change.
 

 
I changed my approach. This time, I just move on after getting the gist, while keeping in mind to guess how the repeating word is read, before looking it up in the dictionary. It's faster and is a lot more fun than what I was doing before.
 

 

I didn't completely comprehend everything but I still knew what's going on, thanks to the support from several factors:
 
a. context of the scene
b. background music
c. characters' facial expression & gestures
d. characters' tone & nuance.
 
These things are very important, as it fills the stuff I didn't get from reading.
 

 
The first game was specially tough. The key is not to give up. As much as possible, one should avoid reading two or more games at the same time and concentrate on a single vn. Avoid reading a vn then dropping it, then continue to repeat the cycle. Finishing a VN completely, gives motivation to read more. Also, one should not rely too much on Jparser. Atleast have a dictionary program for support. These are my suggestions for guys who are planning to read raw vns.
 
My goal is to enjoy visual novels without tools.
 
My initial impression when I was starting was, before attempting to read VNs, I should have a good grasp of the 2136 Jouyou Kanji first. This is a common misconception. Having solid basic grammar is the "go signal". Grammar acts like a backbone/outline/foundation in understanding Japanese.
 

 
As for kanji, grinding them one by one, is not as enjoyable & effective as remembering them in VNs wherein kanji is used in actual words.
 
For some words, I start by identifying them as a "unit" and not as "assembled parts". For example, the word 自動販売機 (jidouhanbaiki / vending machine). I think of this as【自動販売機】and not as 自+動+販+売+機. The first and the last characters are my main focus. Through its repeated appearance, I slowly recognized the characters "inside" the word and their respective order. Then eventually learned their on-yomi as well. 自 is "ji", 動 is "dou", 販 is "han",etc.
 

 
Also, I found the hiraganas that succeed the kanji of a word very useful in remembering the words. I'll just call them "hiraganas" here.
 
Say I'm not sure what the word 確かめる means and how it is read. But I can read the hiragana part so it will look like this in my mind. 〇かめる
 
"Now, I don't know any other word with 'kameru' as its 'hiraganas' aside from 'tashikameru'. I'm not sure though if that's correct. Hmm. *checks the dictionary* Oh yeah, it is 'tashikameru'."
 
Due to it's constant appearance in the lines, I started to associate the appearance of 確 with かめる and with it's corresponding reading and meaning. Then eventually recognized 確かめる reflexively. It also told me that 確 is "tashi", therefore, 確かに is "tashikani".
 
I believe that Repetition is key to learning any skill. Maji.
 

 
About 2 months ago, I began watching anime again but this time, without subs. Watching raw anime improves my vocab and it gives me satisfaction and enjoyment more than those with subs, since there is no distraction.
 
Now, I'm going to give few comments about the airing anime series this season that I am watching, which I arranged according to difficulty from how I see them.
 
Easy to understand
 
1. Danchigai - 3.5 mins / episode. A really soothing series.
2. Ore Monogatari - 好きだ！
3. Gakkou Gurashi! - Cute girls doing cute things, in a not so cute situation.
4. Prison School - Funniest thing on earth.
5. Ao Haru x Kikanjuu - Has similar premise as Ouran HSHC. This one though is action.
6. Charlotte - story by Jun Maeda (Key). Charlotte's episode 7 is one of the best episodes I have ever watched. Started to get quite complex on episode 8.
 
Not so easy
 
7. Shokugeki no Souma - Best anime. The cooking terms are not easy.
8. Ushio to Tora - Youkai terms. I normally hate noisy songs but I love this series' OP. Has a tsundere.
9. GATE - Military. Honestly I have no idea what's going on with the plot aside from the obvious.
 

 
Well, that's the end of this.
Screenshots from Le Labyrinthe De La Grisaia

First, the simple basis for understanding the way Japanese think about the supernatural. Simply put, Shinto, which was the country's official religion and is the religion that originated there, is an animistic faith, with a strong tendency toward the personification of nature and objects. Second, Buddhism was the dominant faith in Japan for centuries, when the various shogunates tried to weaken the Emperor's power by strengthening the influence of Buddhism as a rival faith.

Why is this relevant? Shintoism personifies the dead and believes in the concept of living gods. The Buddhist tributaries in Japan generally believe in reincarnation. Both faiths create a belief that there are things in the world that exist alongside us that cannot be seen by 'normal' people. Both have a belief in life after death, and both have a concept of 'lingering' and 'ascension'.

Generally speaking, Japanese spiritualists hold to a belief (or so they say) that if you can see a spirit, you can effect it and it can effect you. It is vital to understand this before anything else when dealing with Japanese spiritualism in general. While the idea of ghosts harming or possessing those who can't see them isn't denied by Japanese spiritualists, those who can 'see' them are thought to be more vulnerable, if left untrained ('training' generally resembling Buddhist asceticism and meditation).

Now, the word 'oni' is perhaps the most overused name for spirits in Japan. This is because it can be taken to be any spirit that can and does cause harm, refer to humans whose souls have fallen into evil, and/or the legendary giant ogre-type creatures like Shuten-doji that litter Japanese legend. Because of this, it isn't uncommon for ghosts, youkai, and even some 'kami' (the animistic idea of gods in the Shinto faith) to be considered 'oni'. This should give you an idea of how useless any attempt to define what an oni is can be, and why it is so conveniently used in VNs, anime, and manga.

A lot of this lack of discrimination comes from the fact that Shinto attributes souls to all things, whether they are humans, animals, natural disasters, or even inanimate objects.

Now, the two attitudes 'traditional' people in Japan take toward ghosts tend to be: 'seal them up' or 'banish them'. While Shinto can be said to be nature-worshiping, it is at its heart a pragmatist's faith. 'Cleanse people's souls so they don't do bad things'. 'Cleanse a place to prevent possible disaster'. 'Worship a god so it doesn't squish you'. Simple, isn't it? Of course, there are a lot of deeper details, but that is what you should keep in mind as a core reality of the faith and its view on spiritualism.

In otaku-media, it is extremely rare for fantasy anime that deal with ghosts, spirits, or demons to take a single-faith approach to it. You'll almost always see a multi-faith approach, with one or more being dominant (including Christian ones at times). Shinto is dominant the most often, though Buddhism tends to dominate when you get into stuff based a few centuries in the past. Onmyoudou, one of the original types of 'spiritualism' in Japan is very much a fusion of Buddhist and Shinto ideas, if you want an example, since it is extensively used in various anime.

What does this all come down to? Basically, traditional Japanese viewpoints on ghosts and spirits tend to be ones of rejection, and this is something to keep in mind when reading a VN or watching an anime that deals with ghosts, youkai, or other supernatural beings.

A few bits of vocab:

kami- While it is a term that is also used for the Christian god, it is a universal term for all supernatural beings that have worshipers or need to be be/have been worshiped. By Japanese standards, angels and demons would be considered to be kami under the right circumstances, as the Japanese consider 'enshrining' a harmful existence to be a way to keep it from harming them.

akuma- Simply, demon. This is a relatively modern term made of the kanji for evil and the kanji for 'that which is outside/heretical'.

oni- both a name for a specific type of ogre-type youkai and a generalized umbrella term for evil spirits, humans who have fallen into evil ways to an extreme degree, and aspects of certain kami.

youkai- spirits of Japanese legend. The most common are nature spirits, animal spirits, dragons, and 'object spirits' (Tsukumogami). It isn't uncommon for beneficial or powerful ones to be raised up as 'kami' and enshrined to gain the benefit of their blessing and prevent them from doing harm. Whether they are seen as having physical form varies based upon the individual viewpoint.

Reibaishi- An almost identical concept to the Western 'medium'... basically someone who can see spirits and/or communicate with them and makes a living off of it.

Jorei- Exorcism, though it is usually of spirits rather than demons.



PS: This isn't complete... I'll be adding to it later, lol.

Made sure to use the version where Kuon is actually wearing something.
Introduction:
 
Phew, that was long. I wasn't playing the whole time, but I still took nearly a good month and a half. Despite that, I actually have less to talk about than last time.
Gurenka left me with a satisfying feeling finishing Kuon's route. The game has two satisfying routes with decent endings (two of them, to be exact), but outside those two routes it seriously lacks substance. I'd say what I enjoyed the most were Elsrise and Kuon's characters and the BGM.
 
This post is pretty much non-spoiler, I'm don't mention the details or the endings.
 
Character notes:
 
Elsrise's was my favourite character. She had several sides which were quite different, but her character felt well-formed and not forced. A number of developments were only plausible/possible because of her personality.
 
Kuon was a mashup of a ton of different elements, which doesn't make her a strong character so much as her being entertaining in pretty much every scene featuring her ever. She does settles down into something much more coherent in her route though. In fact, I'd Ryouji and Kuon's evolving relationship was one of the shows of the VN. If you like supernatural romance you'll enjoy her route. It's still kinda short though, because there isn't that much plot.
 
Saori was a bit verbose and too explanatory at times. I guess her super frankness didn't mesh well with me. That and it never stops, she doesn't have another mode, other than occasionally being worried.
 
Katsuragi-sensei was a pretty cool minor character who makes the most appearances in Saori's route. It was cool how he brought together the frustration of a denied future, with the strong goal of guiding the next generation towards their futures . He even has one scene with kuon. That was fantastic. In general, I enjoyed the way the MC interacted with him. It was intermittent, off-beat, but pleasant.
 
Fumika, was kind of a non-character. 悪いが文香人権なし。
 
Alize was a joke character, but her prescence was relevant in some places, like bringing together Elrise and Ryouji. Her combat arsenal was a needed contrast to everyone's else lack of magic-y and summon-y skills. I also thought her last fight in Elsrise's route was very tense and cornered, just like the rest of that extended battle.
It's also clear how much Alize and Elsrise care for each other. Alize is the one who helps Erise interact with the protagonist, and in Alize's route Elrise clearly shows an almost mother-like gaze on Alize and Ryouji.
 
Nothing to note about the other side heroines. I can't stand the Miko though. Not believable, frustration to watch, and indirectly screws over everyone else, if I recall correctly.
 
 
Addition comments on the Common route:
 
The common route had a large mystery component as the MC is gradually exposed to more and more raw information as he runs around trying to solve incidents.
I read some Japanese player's blog and agree with him on these points:
-The mystery-heavy common route is probably fun if you proactively sort through the presented information and come up with theories. However the problem here was the problems weren't captivating enough to keep the reader's attention.
-It was easy to fall behind in what was happening if you didn't pay attention. If you fell behind, you wouldn't get what was happening, the MC's objectives were, etc., and you'd probably just give up the damn thing.
 
The theories about people's psychology weren't as interesting as I was hoping. I think this was because there wasn't enough unique conflict to warrant discussion of the underlying psychology. There were some other notions that did get developed decently, though (see below).
 
 
On Gurenka and the concept of the Everyday
 
The everyday school scenes in Gurenka were merely passable. They didn't really serve a purpose or go anywhere. I get the feeling this is common of second-rate Visual Novels. The everyday scenes did ultimately produce the feeling of everyday school life with friends, I suppose.
 
There's a common topic that comes up in a lot of stories, and that is protecting one's everyday life. At one point the MC of Gurenka expresses his fears that their "everyday" was gradually being undermined by the Otherworld.
 
I'm don't really understand the notion wanting to protect the everyday life. In sounds like a vague, cool statement, to protect one everyday, but is that not misguided?
 
If people in your circle of friends is afflicted by hurt or hardship, then of course your everyday will start to crumble.
 
But it's not the "happy, carefree times" one should place first, but your friends. The truer aspiration is to support your friends through hardship and help them find happiness. It's possible to have an everyday where everyone *seems* happy and open, but holds their fears and regrets inside. [1]
 
It's quite human to take comfort in a current set of friends, with the unconscious notion that things will always remain like that. However, time is finite, and the time we have together is even more limited. Even the idea that the everyday is static is mistaken. The everyday we treasure is in fact constantly changing. [2]
 
Kuon also says something similiar, that she's become fond of this daily life and wishes to protect it. Amusingly, I find Kuon's statement a lot more convincing than Ryouji's.
She is speaking from the perspective a very-long lived person. She knows that the time she will spend with Ryouji is finite, and her wish to protect it is made on top of that awareness.
 
[1] This topic is awfully relevant to the light novel Utsuro no Hako no Maria.
[2] From the VN Semiramis no Tenbin. Yes that exact point. It was one of the many societal, psychological, and moral observations made by its characters during the VN.
 
 
The romance component of the game:
 
The romance component isn't deep in this game, what I mean by that there aren't that many satisfying romantic moments, and the romantic components aren't holding up the routes. The only appreciable romance in the game is between the MC and the two heroines Kuon and Elsrise.
 
Both the romances felt pretty short, but they both had an existing relationship that started developing way before they crossed the line of lovers. In the case of Kuon, more is depicted (compared to Elsrise) after the two become a couple.
 
Kuon's felt like a deep connection. Elsrise's felt like doting adoration, with the MC being carried along with the flow a bit. They weren't half bad, really.
 
 
The ideas expressed in the game:
 
I think there were a few themes that Gurenka utilized successfully, and that they led to some of the VN's more satisfiying experiences. They are:
 
- Nostalgia (The flashbacks, Kuon and Elsrise telling about their pasts)
- Frustration over unreasonable and unfair circumstances (Katsuragi-sensei, to a lesser degree the MC).
- Lamenting the past (Kuon, Elsrise, Haru-sensei)
 
The BGM really contributed to bringing out the nostalgia. It's a melancholic, slightly lonely nostaligia. The two non-human heriones feel like they've actually lived their pasts, and aren't just characters with the longevity "tag" tacked on.
 
 
Suggestions:
 
I'm going to consider Fumika's route a backstory route, as Fumika really doesn't develop or do anything during her route. Why does she even exist? God forbid if you were hoping for something.
 
Saori was decently established as a character.
Her route could have been made worthy if the themes were made stronger and more plot was involved.
 
Alize, though she's a bit of a joke character, had her roles. I would have welcomed learning more about the her nature and origin of her abilities.
It also would have been nice to have had more meaningful Elsrise/Alize and Kuon scenes. There weren't that many.
 
It's hard for me to suggest additional scenes in the routes because there were so few plot elements. On the character front, Kuon doesn't have any more to show; she only started to develop soon after she met Ryouji, and all the sides of her are shown. There also isn't any more interaction to be had between Elsrize and Kuon without introducing new elements to the story. If you boil it down, there's actually an unbelievably small amount of complexity/substance in the VN.
 
The most developed part of the VN was really Kuon and Elsrise's story. Kuon's route felt satisifiying because it finished explaining the past which involved both of them. Elsrise's route felt satisfying because of Elsrise's personality, her identity, and the satisfactory explanation of fights and the Otherworld following incidents. Both routes are where the "ideas" I mentioned earlier get evoked the most.
 
In that case, they could have just focused on this part of the story, and gotten rid of all the other routes except those two. The MC's backstory could have been slipped into Kuon's route, and Katsuragi-sensei's incident could have been put in Kuon's side of the common. Hell, I think Kuon should have been relevant for the MC coming to terms with his somewhat misfortunate past.
 
Final words:
 
All in all, Gurenka is a reasonably 'decent" game. The core story (Kuon and Elsrise's route, mostly Kuon's) is satisfying and enjoyable. The VN is just somewhat too long for what it's really about: the surrounding scenes and other routes, while interesting here and there, are lacking in substance. I have yet to see a game with youkai (or equivalent) heriones where the human routes are better. Demi-humans too strong?
 
I give Gurenka an 8 for the Kuon and Elsrise's route and 6 for the other routes.
 
---
 
Other Misc. Thoughts: (In case you are interested in hearing even more of my rambling)
 
 

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I wrote previously about a display bug in Dual Tail's strategy eroge Venus Blood -Hypno- that prevented interface text from displaying correctly in non-Japanese Windows. Fan hacker binaryfail generously donated a patch that fixes the issue. I sent this patch to Ninetail (parent company of Dual Tail) via Twitter, requesting that they include the fix on their official support page. Project manager and game designer Keimaru responded to me in broken English. His response, edited by me, is as follows.

Original:




I thanked him and went my way. A commentator on Reddit later informed me that Keimaru had posted a much longer comment in Japanese. This comment showed such sincere and thoughtful consideration of the issue, from a Japanese developer's standpoint, that I decided it needed to be relayed to the English audience.

Japanese eroge developers are well known for their reluctance to get involved with the Western market. Packaging and splash screens prominently declare "For sale in Japan only". Westerners tend to dismiss this policy as apathy for foreign fans, even regarding the practice with contempt as just another manifestation of Japanese isolationism and xenophobia. When eroge companies block foreign IPs, they automatically assume that the company has closed its doors to Western release (despite abundant evidence to the contrary). "The companies are just being xenophobic," they say with bitter contempt. "Might as well just fan translate their titles, since they'll never officially release their games in English. They don't want dirty gaijin playing their games."

It's about time that we get the other side of this story. And who better to deliver it than a prominent and well-loved Japanese developer--one puzzling over how to respond to a bug that prevents foreign fans from playing his games? I provide my translation of Keimaru's Twitter comments below. I regret that my translation skills could not fully convey the honest simplicity of the original message, but I did my best to at least get across the ideas and intent.
I don't know about you, but Ninetail just earned one new (very loud) fan. For an example of one of Ninetail's outstanding games, see my Venus Blood -Gaia- review! (NSFW version, SFW mirror)

Special thanks to those of the Fuwanovel community who provided feedback on the translation, especially Majikoi fan translator dowolf.

Welcome to my VN Blog! As for a why I'm making this blog: I've always wanted to do write-ups on VN's I read. I admire those reviewers who can see deep into all levels of the story. It's also those people I depend on to make sense of mystery of complex VN's like Subarashiki Hibi or Cross Channel. But varying levels of astuteness aside, I love to share with others this hobby of VN's and see all the peoples' different reactions.
 
As for why I don't consider myself to be reviewing visual novels: I don't really set out to judge the VNs, I usually only do so if I feel confident about my understanding of the VN and the genre/design-space it is working in. As an aspiring hobbyist writer, I am interested in components of a story (themes, characters, setting, scenes) and how they are used to construct good stories from different genres. And thus, I am apt to focus on those areas.
 
When a story's or route's setup interests me but the route doesn't come though, I tend to fill in the blanks and explore different possibilities. "A disappointing story is one with tons of possibilities.", I like to think. In that sense I can spend a lot of time on things that aren't even about the VN in question.
 
If you have read some of the VN's I post about, or end up so in the future, or if something here catches your fancy, please do make yourself comfortable. Stay a while, relax, comment. You can expect about two posts for one visual novel a month. (Eeek! This writing business is hard!) That's a little slower than how fast I go through VN's, but I probably won't post about every VN play.
 
PS: Feedback is welcome! Are you interested in this stuff? Should I put the tangents in a seperate "tangents" post? If no one wants to read it, I'm happy to stick on topic and focus on just the VN's.

In my game, Serious to the End, it tells of Aya being depressed with her life. Now understand this happens in real life too, many even taking it as far as killing other people for a happy ending. This doesnt happen in America it also happens in other parts of the world, it can be many reasons but the end result is the same. The game I made is to help people understand how suicidal people feel and how it's never that easy. I'm starting a campaign+crowdfunding, to help rise money or even spread the word about suicide. You dont have to buy my game but if you do, it will help raise money for The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. They will use the money for education, research, advocate for public policy, and support those affected by suicide.

Help spread the word or help with the funding, its up to you.
https://www.thunderclap.it/projects/27606-suicide-awareness-funding

p.s: (to fuwanovel's i have no idea if i did the blog right, how do you use this thing?!)

Mr. Meogii's First Recognition Post.


Hello Guys ! Meogii here, bringing you your ever so loved members' highlight. Today we will be zoning in on Suikashoujo. She has been a member of our community for almost a year now and it pains me to see that the majority of us do not yet know what she's been up to. She enjoys singing, so much so that she has taken it upon herself to make song covers to go along with her music. I don't know about you, but I don't think I'd ever find enough courage to allow other people to listen to me sing. Be it in real life or over the Internet, such a feat requires confidence - something I'm sure Suikashoujo has in her great and pleasurable singing. Down below you'll find her latest video so if you like it, be sure to check out her channel for more awesomeness. From the community and myself, we wish you all the best regarding your future works.

Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube....GMm-XabSB6VXgrA

Latest Video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJ9RxxZPm1c

Nosebleed guided whore by his hand. It was dark; they were walking among some trees.
"Are you alright?" , Nosebleed turned his head back, slowly, trying to see whore's face through the darkness. Whore nodded.

They reached a glade. The moon allowed them to see each other's faces. Nosebleed had a different wig: still Nico's black hair, but he wasn't using twintails. Princess whore had a passionate, yet afraid, gleam in her eyes.

Whore got near the river flowing down there. She saw her reflection. She trembled.

"Are you feeling cold?", asked Nosebleed. He came behind her, with his right hand on her shoulder, and the other hand holding a bottle. Looking at his reflection on the water, whore blushed. "I brought hot chocolate with me." he continued.

"...?" Whore turned back, staring at the bottle and then, at his eyes. She smiled, accepting the offer. "Thank you."
As whore opened the bottle, Nosebleed lost his balance.

"Ah..." He fell on the top of her. "Oops." The hot chocolate was all spilled on their faces.

"It's hot! Hot!" Whore screamed.

"I-I'm sorry!", Nosebleed also felt the heat. He tried to hide his embarrassment, as he tried to find a way to clean her face. But then, he felt something soft on his chin running through his cheeks, until his forehead. He widened his eyes, surprised. Whore smiled at him happily, holding his chin, and then licking his lips.

"It has... Good taste... Very... Good taste.", she said, blushing.

"The chocolate? Or my...?"

"Both."

"Can I... taste it too?"

Whore nodded in agreement. Nosebleed licked the princess' cheeks, smoothly, feeling every single flavor there was to be felt. She asked him with her eyes: "Did it taste good?"

"Amazing." Both of them smiled. They advanced on each other, Nosebleed pushing the princess on the ground. They didn't even feel pain anymore, instead of it, they licked each other as fast as they could, so the chocolate wouldn't freeze.
Their faces were finally clean.
"Guess it's time to sleep, nyan~", said the princess. "Can I... Sleep on the top of you?"
"Uh? Why?"
"I want to hear your heartbeats. It will give me good dreams."
"Princess... You do know... What we have won't last long, don't you?"
"Hm." , she nodded. "That's why I want..." , whore comfortably set herself on the top of Nosebleed, with her ear on his heart. "... To enjoy every single moment of it."

Next morning, Nosebleed was lazily still sleeping, while whore had already waken up. She looked at Nosebleed's cute face, passing her hands through his dark Nico wig.
"Nico Nico nii." , she tried to imitate him.

And then, there was another voice.
"Who's there?" It was a male voice. Whore got scared. Some people knew her identity before she became a troll. What to do? What to do? Before she could think of anything, two soldiers came out of some trees.

"Oh." one of them blushed. "Sorry to interrupt your moment, ojou-sama!"
"Cute girls? Hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng. The black-haired maiden is cosplaying my waifu..." the other screamed, excited.

"Hm. ~" Whore's fears seemed to be unreasonable. "There's no problem. Now please we need to rest alone..."
They were already leaving, however, another soldier came up. A general.
"Guys, what you're... Uh?" His eyes met whore's. He identified her the moment he saw her. "You!"
"Master, what's the problem?"
"That girl is the one who was transformed into the troll! She's whore! She's a criminal!"
Whore shook desperately.
"Sir, you must be mistaken." a soldier replied.
"I am not! How dare you?!"

While they were arguing, Nosebleed woke up. "Uh... What's happening here?"

"Nosebleed!" the general recognized him. "What are you doing with this criminal?!"

"General Eclipsy! I... " he looked at whore, shaking of fear. "I don't know what this person is doing here." He sighed.

"What?!", whore was wordless. She was taken by her arm by Eclipsy.
"Come on, whore! I will take you to your place."

"Where are you taking her?" asked Nosebleed.
"She is going to be executed."
"What?! No... I forbid you! Don't do that."
"Free me!", whore screamed.
"She is going to jail first. The execution will just happen tomorrow. Talk with the nobles first, then." The general and his men went away, leaving Nosebleed alone.

"Oh God, what have I done?" Everything was fine. He was so happy. She was happy. But everything was messed up now. And even if he annulled her sentence, she perhaps would never forgive him.

"I don't understand. Are you asking us to free her?", prince Marie asked. "Also, nice dress, Nosebleed."
"Thank you. I mean, she's done nothing wrong , so I don't think she should be..."
"Nothing wrong?!" General Usagi exclaimed. "Did you forget that she invaded our country, disrespected our laws, used a false identity, offended the majors, and above all things, claimed YOU were a loli kidnapper?"
"I didn't but..."
"Have you weakened yourself, Nosebleed?" Marie instigated him. "I remember the times you punished every single traitor with your own sword! But now, just look at you, is that related to the beauty of that whore?"
"No, not at all. I'm not biased."
"Well then, give that whore the right prize, so that she will never appear here again!"
"Right... I'll... Do that..."

Midnight. Steps echoed in a dark corridor. Whore couldn't sleep: the hour of the execution was approaching. Someone opened the door of the end of the corridor. The person came closer and closer, until whore could see his face. She looked the other way.

"Princess..." Nosebleed wore a hopeless expression.
"I don't... Want to talk to you."
"I'm truly sorry."

Whore turned to face him. Her green eyes were illuminated by the stars, out of the window.
"Traitor." She slapped him in the face. Nosebleed couldn't look at her directly.
"You said you loved me!", she screamed at him, ferociously. "And then you let me in this jail, waiting for my death! Is that what you call love?! You lied to protect yourself! You didn't care about me! I know I did bad things, but..." she pulled Nosebleed by his dress, sealing his lips with an intense, but bitter kiss. "I... Don't want to die." Tears started pouring from her eyes. "Please... Save me."

Nosebleed felt an intense pain in his heart. He left the jail, running, breathlessly. He sang a song, then. A song that would survive centuries after his death.

"By yon bonnie banks and by yon bonnie braes,
Where the sun shines bright on Loch Lomond,
Where me and my true love were ever wont to gae,
In the bonnie, bonnie banks of Loch Lomond.


O ye'll take the high road, and I'll take the low road,
And I'll be in Scotland afore ye,
Where me and my true love will never meet again,
On the bonnie, bonnie banks of Loch Lomond."

A tear came down from Nosebleed's eyes.




To be continued...

"Nico Nico nii..." Nosebleed looked at himself in the mirror. So... Beautiful... The clothes, the hair, the body, the makeup: all he's always dreamed of. He looked perfectly like his beloved idol. But one thing was missing: a crown. To fulfill his dream of becoming as beautiful as a princess. He took the diamond crown from the table and put it on his wig, smoothly.

Someone opened the door.

"It's time to settle things up, NOSEBLEED." Whore said it firmly while entering the room. That female troll was the ugliest and most dangerous of all.

Nosebleed was taken by surprised. He turned around, with a mix of fear and embarassment on his face.

Whore blushed immediatly when she saw Nosebleed's cosplay. She didn't know what to say.

"What are you doing here?!", asked the trap princess, ferociously.

"I came to tell you I am going to tell all the Fuwa nobles about your loli kidnapping!". Whore still blushed, but she faced Nosebleed firmly.

"Do it, then, you stupid troll!! Go ahead with your stupid lies! I am going to ban you from this kingdom forever!"

"Not if I kill you first." Whore spoke with an almost unhearable tone. She took a knife from her fur, and passed it through her paws. Nosebleed shook of fear, he stepped back taking a sword from the table.

Whore advanced, trying to hit the trap's neck. But Nosebleed moved quickly, as he had been trained by the best sword teachers, and avoided the attack. Whore shook the knife above her head, pushing it in Nosebleed's direction. Nosebleed tried to block with his sword, but whore sent it away with her knife. Nosebleed was unarmed.

"Heeeeeeelp!!!" Nosebleed screamed. No one came.

Whore's knife hit Nosebleed's wig, messing up all the hours of work on that hairstyle Nosebleed spent. "You loser! You are envy of me!", said Nosebleed. Whore, angry, tried to push her fist into Nosebleed's face, but Nosebleed rolled with her on the ground to catch his sword. He then, pointed it to whore's heart.

Whore had lost it.

"Last words?", asked Nosebleed.
"...", whore thought for a little... "N-nice outfit."
"You think?!" Nosebleed was surprised. The two of them were still on the ground, with their bodies over each other. Nosebleed was confused.

Then, something strange happened.

Something warm and soft... Touched Nosebleed's lips.

"...!" He was out of breath. What touched his lips were whore's lips. And he... Liked it!
The two faced each other. Whore sighed, waiting for her death. She closed her eyes.

But then, Nosebleed held her face with his two hands and kissed her again. Their lips floated on each other, beautifully, like sakura petals.

"Senpai, I'm sorry.", said whore. "I... Love you."

In this moment, whore's body started to glow. She was floating in the air. Nosebleed was stunned, too much adrenaline in those last five minutes.

That beast become something totally different... Whore was no longer a troll... She was a princess, as beautiful as Nosebleed in his costumes.

Nosebleed's eyes shone. "I no longer want vendetta. I want.. you"

Nosebleed couldn't be happier. He showed a big smile. "Nico Nico nii."

Once upon a time, in the magical land of Fuwa, there lived a troll named Whore. Whore was the ugliest troll in Fuwa. He was so ugly that no person alive would ever come near him. Now, this would of course make Whore very hungry, for he could never catch a meal. He always felt jealousy towards Nosebleed, the handsomest Prince of the land, son of Queen Aeru and King Tay. Whore, devoured by envy and hunger, set out on a journey to find Nosebleed and make him his first meal in a century.

Whore, had at last found where Nosebleed lived. In a strong desire to get revenge on Nosebleed for being born beautiful, he sent letters to the nobles of Fuwa. These letters reported that Nosebleed assaulted one of the lolis of Loli Mountian. This was against the law of Fuwa, as the loli's were highly valued and respected by all who lived in Fuwa, as the moé ones. However, he forgot about Sir Steve, the protector of loli's who never missed a single assaulter. Sir Steve would know if Nosebleed truly did this, as he was blessed with the power to send out a million eyes to watch over the loli's and alert him of any trouble.

When this plan failed, Nosebleed approached Whore, and banished him to 4-chan where he would have to live among those even uglier than himself. They say, Whore will make a return 1,000 years later to have another shot at revenge.