It got long and I was running out of time, so I'll just submit this now. Dang, I wanted to polish it more and had a few more gags I wanted to work in...
Visnovella. A world that stretched as far as thousands of universes, its majesty was the stuff with which epic tales were told. Residents hailed from locations as diverse as the settlements founded by Eternal Swords to the parallel galaxies derived from the sheer possibilities in a Kaleidoscope; to the crevices hiding fragments of an Emerald Tablet to the two habitats merged into Dir Lifyna; to the cities populated with Star Gods and Elfins to the simpler homes where people lived with only their passion for taking photos, flying in gliders, making money, taking women, or simply searching for love.
But even Visnovella, for all its diverse lands, supernatural beings, and legends in the making, had one place that very few dared to venture. This place, so shrouded in evil and vice that every man and woman from the most overpowered heroes to the most foolhardy adventurers to the most experienced tacticians balked at the prospect of entering at all, was not above affecting with other locations with its influence, and though it left alone the ones that offered it abundant tithes, it was not below...intervening with those that didn’t. And this lair had a name, a name that struck fear and terror into the heart and soul of all:
The Palace...of Licensing.
“Are you a masochist, GangaMamer?” said a young human-looking female, sprawled out on a four-poster bed in a room that took up the topmost floor of the extravagant palace. “I mean, that would make sooo much sense. The last time you were here, I sent you running, tail tucked between your legs, and I was pretty sure you won’t be back to have my jewelry collection thrown at you again for another week or two. And yet, here you are. Back in your stuffy grey suit, another idea to pitch, and zero concern about taking a gold hairbrush in the eye.”
The girl, who was rather uncreatively named Licensing, idly flicked a page of the manga she was reading. She was fitted in only cut-short jeans and a blue tube-top to complete that summer look, which might’ve looked sexy if she actually had the curves to pull it off. In fact, the tube-top had actually been set in place with a safety pin strategically pulling tight the cloth around her chest area, otherwise the thing might’ve slid off as soon as she stood up and wouldn’t that have been a wardrobe dysfunction of the year. She looked about the age of those highschool heroines of slice-of-life VNs. Or perhaps the age of the young adult females from those netorare VNs. Really, it was hard to tell sometimes with anime girls, and I wish I show you with CG artwork so you wouldn’t have to imagine her looks, but I think we all proved over the past week how horribly atrocious we are at the visual arts, so maybe it’s better for the mental health of everyone involved if I refrained from trying to draw such a thing.
GangaMamer, standing on his two hind legs at the other side of the room, shuffled uncomfortably, as he really ought considering he was distinctly aware of the possibility of the aforementioned wardrobe dysfunction. Licensing was prone to stretching lazily. It didn’t do good things to the cloth pinched together by the safety pin. Going back on topic, GangaMamer was a dragon, which meant it was his job to convince Licensing that him bringing in otherworlders to tour the vast areas of Visnovella was not only viable, it was profitable. It was a thankless job, and not very successful either, though out of all the dragons he was arguably the most successful...which was why he was back in this room...possibly vulnerable to another hail of diamond necklaces and solid gold cups. Damn, he hated this room.
Of course, he didn`t let his real thoughts show as he began speaking.
“I believe, Licensing-sama,” GangaMamer started, “that this is not a question of masochism. This is a question of opportunities! Being the distinguished businessdragon I am, I keep a close finger on the current trends of my customers’ world, and I can tell you that one such trend, one that you and I are in a unique position to take advantage of, is at an all-time high, and as a result, now is the greatest opportunity we’ve ever had to expand to foreign consumers.”
“This is the fifteenth time you used those exact words,” Licensing said. “I will flip my nightstand on you if try to go over your self-indulgent ‘collected data’ drivel again.”
GangaMamer decided to cut to the chase.
“Anime-ism!” he declared, pointing to a PowerPoint slide conveniently stating those exact words on the wall behind him. “The universes of Animella and Mangalla are popular as never before in North America, and Visnovella is proving to have just as much potential! Worlds like Katawa Shoujo have not only been well-received, it also inspired other similar worlds to start opening up their tourism industry! If we don’t take advantage of that here, and now, how can we call ourselves proud residents of Visnovella?”
“I don’t,” Licensing said, waving at GangaMamer’s face the manga she had in her hand.
“...I don’t have an argument for that,” the dragon admitted, more than a little deflated over Licensing’s refusal to take him seriously. He told himself not to be frustrated by such a little thing. He was a fully-grown adult dragon, and took great pride in being one of the mature of his kind...oh hell why not.
“But it’s not my fault you’re so bitchy that we’re not attracting any customers,” he said brightly.
“WHAT WAS THAT?!” Licensing screeched, hurling her book at GangaMamer, who ducked.
“Oh come on, when was the last time you showed some charm?” GangaMamer said. “No one wants to deal with Licensing. They call me crazy for it. I even suggested you moe-anthropomorphize yourself to make you seem approachable, and people are still trying to get a restraint warrant against you. I didn’t even know that was possible.”
“Approachable, my butt!” Licensing screamed. “If it wasn’t for that stupid suggestion no one would have thought calling me Lice-tan was a good idea!”
GangaMamer blinked, thrown off his spiel. “Wait, someone actually called you that?”
“Them being the spectacular retards they are, yes!”
“At least they got the bloodsucking aspect of you right,” GangaMamer muttered.
“What was that?” Licensing said menacingly.
“I said, at least they got the small and cute aspect of you right,” GangaMamer lied smoothly. It didn’t seem to mollify Licensing any, though; if anything, her glower turned more intense. He quickly changed the subject. “Anyway, the point is that there’s a demand for this stuff, and it’s a great deal of demand that we just can’t seem to satisfy fully...whatever the reason. We can at least agree on that, yes?”
Licensing buried herself under her covers with a muffled shriek of rage. GangaMamer took that as a yes. Oh, he was on a roll.
“Believe me, Licensing-sama, this is not without ample rewards. Just imagine the happy faces that will greet us once we open up a new world for visiting!”
Licensing’s head popped out, suddenly interested. “Well, yes, I suppose you’re right,” she said thoughtfully. “I do so love them gorgeous, sexy Benjamin Franklin faces on my hundred-dollar bills...”
“I actually meant our loyal customers,” GangaMamer said.
“Yes, the money, of course,” Licensing agreed.
GangaMamer gave up on that particular train of thought and plunged onwards. “Therefore, I would like to suggest that we open the world of Muv—”
“No,” Licensing said brightly.
There was only silence for a moment. I mean come on, this girl just shot down in half a second a story that took me this entire week to construct. You gotta give that the sort of dumbstruck reaction it deserves.
“I’m sorry?” GangaMamer said, emphasizing my previous point.
“No,” she repeated, smiling angelically. “After all, I’m the bitch in this room, aren’t I?”
And then, there was nothing more to say.
Well, nothing except: “That and being the flat-chest—”
A glass filled with sundae exploded against the wall near his head, and GangaMamer scuttled out the door and slammed it shut behind him, muting the angry insults thrown after him. He took a deep, shuddering breath.
A moment later, GangaMamer realized that there was a dragon who was very familiar and sort of illegal standing right next to him.
With one hand, Mmterasu took out a pair of designer shades from his suit and snapped it on. “Told you so, bro. So much easier to use dem fire breath and burn the bitch to ash when you can.”
“Not. Helping,” GangaMamer snapped, and he stomped off down the hall.
