dowolf

Perhaps Off-putting Hottie, Super-Iffy Hottie, or something like that. also: are you part of the Kazamatsuri group doing Angel Beats, or working on your own?

To expand on what Storyteller's said: For lines 2& 3: consider: "But I can't... " / "It's less that you can't drink and more that you won't, right?" Here, consider what would be the first word in the English translation, were Caprese's line stated in full. In Japanese, it's 酒が飲めない; in English, "I can't drink alcohol." I would really, really recommend translating the 辛いことがあった bit as "Something bad happened, right" in this context. "What is it about alcohol that troubles you" (using liquor in this context sounds weird to my (American) ears; is that standard in British English?) feels like you're asking why you don't like e.g. the feeling of being buzzed. For the last line, perhaps "[...]moping about is the same as asking everyone to pity you"?

S was March to... July? So about four months of total work. My goal was to have the first draft of Benkei done by the end of the month; I'm not 100% confident that's happening at this point, but it shouldn't take too much more. Granted, that's a far cry from "done," but still. I will be shocked if things take till mid-2016. As for Sayaka's... I mean, there's no more quote-unquote "need" to redo it than there was for the S routes Wairu did, but there's a big part of me that regrets not redoing those routes so >_>

Do keep in mind that the routes Storyteller and I are translating are literally longer than any route in S or the original that I translated. I'm hesitant to give exact numbers, mostly because Ouraibaa always yelled at me whenever I did >_> but for Benkei, it's somewhere between 0 and 80%, depending on what metric you want to use (I'm useful!).

I did, yes. As for Benkei, it's weird. I have Wairu's translations, but most every line needs to be at least rewritten, so I'm basically starting from scratch and then using Wairu's as a check for the occasional spot where I derp or where they wound up wording things better. I'm not sure if this is the best route (I'm spending embarrassing amounts of time trying to convince myself that Wairu is just wrong on lines where Wairu is very definitely wrong but paranoia is fun~), but here we are.

...Unless I am very much mistaken, there is no PS2 or PSP version >_> There is a PS3 version, but it has no new routes AFAIK (never played it).

I'm just going to remind you that fan translations are technically illegal; we are tolerated by the license holders, but they have the power to shut us down at any time for any reason, or no reason at all. Between the bad publicity of shutting down projects and the fact that a non-zero number of people who play the patch will (hopefully [i can dream]) purchase the original game, most do not do so. However, once you start accepting money for your work, all of that changes.

every route is canon. at the same time. deal with it.

Script length in kilobytes looks weird~ But to put the numbers in perspective for people who've played S: 300KB was the length of Koyuki's route. The fact that we're working in parallel (me on Benkei, Storyteller on Azumi, and then checking each other's work) means a partial patch doesn't really make sense.

I'd just rewrite the conversation so that Caprese says "Who's that?" in his first line and then mispronounces her name in the second.

I'm pretty darn sure every single character in Majikoi is over 18. no exceptions. also Kawakami Water is non-alcoholic.

It's asking if she looks lonely (i.e. "I should go talk to her!"), or if she gives you the creeps.

i'm only one person dammit. and the biggest other project (well, besides Oretsuba) that I really want to work on right now is Dai Gyakuten Saiban, but I'm hesitant to dive into that when there's still a decent chance Capcom localizes it themselves. Besides, with 3DS emulators not being a thing and Capcom taking down every DGS video they can find, there's not really a good way to release it. but now i'm getting off-topic >_>

メンバー would be a (free) member of the crew. and yeah. half-hour-ago me was crazy and clearly not trustworthy. but I'm still not in love with calling everyone "wolf-girl" and "lion-girl." wolf-girl has "werewolf," and you could always invent "werelion" if you wanted. but w/e.

Couple things on other lines here: --"Oh, that beast girl.": While Japanese is... flexible when it comes to punctuation, English isn't. Make sure any and all questions get question marks, even if they didn't in the original. (edit: on re-read, you could read this as not a question. Guess it'd depend on what comes before. *shrug*) --Consider "she-wolf" and "lioness" for 狼女 and ライオン女. This is just a personal taste thing, but I figured it was worth mentioning. this no longer seems like as good an idea as it did 30 minutes ago. my mind is weird at 2 a.m. >_> --お前、また、メンバーを好きにするのか?": he's saying that the boss is the one doing things again >_> --あれは見せ物だぞ?奴隷でさえないんだ: Should be "She's a showpiece. Not even a slave." I think you got thrown off by the question mark in the original? (It's marking that the boss is confused, not that the statement is a question--again, Japanese punctuation is flexible.) Also, unless you're given damn good reason to (read: if this is an official job and your boss tells you to), feel free to ignore any and all official romanizations if you think they're wrong. A lot of the time, the person coming up with the romanization doesn't know what they're doing.

i still have nightmares about that loving.

EDIT: Yeah, I was being dumb with "for." I blame being too lazy earlier to read the full text and just skimming it instead >_> Maybe just go with "Go tell them 'no'!" / "No!" / "You're telling us 'no'?!" and just stop using "refuse" entirely. "Sou the Poker" is the best name ever and you will never convince me otherwise <__<　Though "poke something down your throat" keeps the dirty joke intact, so I don't know why you're objecting there.

If you really want to keep the word "refuse," just say "You're refusing for us?!" (the "for" needs to be in there, looking at the full context, but... yeah.) dunno why you're making things so complicated. With [1], what Storyteller said. It's really clear that the two 築く's are not referring to the same thing in the full text. In the snippet you gave us, because they appear one after another without Kenny's line in the middle, a reader is going to get the wrong impression. With [2], as I said earlier, ”poke fun at” / "I'll poke something down your throat." works fairly well.

yeah. Though I am really curious as to how a "collection of cute girls" constitutes an unassailable position.

Based on what was stated, Nagisa's establishing a collection of cute girls...?　The fan club appears to be referring back to the 華宮会(hananomi-kai? not 100% sure how to pronounce this), though it is a bit unclear from this little snippet. jab/poke was intended to preserve the play on words (making jabs/jab things down your throat), but looking at it again--is 突っ込んで回る here going for "meddling" / "barging in" instead? You are right, we do need more context there. (poke could still work there --"poking your nose into things" -- "poke my hand down your throat." Or something. I dunno.)

"YOU are the one refused?" doesn't mean what you think it means >_> First one: "establishing" or "building up" seems fine. As for the second, consider "jab" (edit: or maybe "poke" would be better? Something along those lines, anyways). Never ever ever add a translation note to explain a joke.

You're trying to jump through hoops to use one word to match one Japanese word, and I understand the impulse, but you need to let it go. It's a terrible habit to get into, especially when there's no poetic value to keeping the same word. The first sentence is a bit awkward (drop the "and"). The voice in the last sentence sounds more like that of a curious onlooker than someone who's genuinely surprised. This is largely because you keep trying to put "so" in there, but also because you keep trying to use the "the one who" construction, which is really, really passive. Also, the verb there cannot be in present tense in English--future, past, and present progressive all work (albeit with slightly different meanings), but the simple present simply does not. (Yes, the Japanese is in the simple nonpast tense. That doesn't mean the output should be. Welcome to translating )

I'm an American, so I can't speak much w.r.t. B.E. stuff. Writing in Scottish and cockney accents is fun, though. These sound very stilted to my ears (also, the d.o. of "turn down" is the person being turned down, not their idea, so it's "us" there). For 1, simply "You understood that? or "You managed to understand that?" would be better ("You're able to understand that?" sort've implies to me that the speaker thought the second person wasn't intelligent enough to understand something (or, alternatively, that the speaker isn't intelligent enough to understand it); "managed to understand" has the implication that it's something really convoluted (or that someone was explaining something poorly); "you understood that?" is nice and generic.) For the other, either "You're the one turning us down?!" or "You're turning us down?!" depending on how much you want to emphasize the "you." In this particular instance, though, it really doesn't work--"you're the one turning us down" implies you were expecting to be turned down by some party, just not necessarily the person in question. As for the whole conversation: "Go tell her no!" / "We refuse!" / "Wait--you're turning us down?!" might work. (Also, "reject" was intended as the more formal one, but "reject" doesn't really sound right in this context, and "turn down" isn't super-informal or anything.) It uses different words, but that's not really that much of a problem; the passage still makes sense.

For 分かる, consider "understood" vs. "got it." For 断る, consider "turn down" vs. "rejected." But it's also lots of little things, like using some slang or words associated with informal speech (gotta, 'cause, like/totally, Chris'll, etc.)... Basically, when you're reading things in English (by which I mean real novels, not VN translations, 'cause a lot of translations do a bad job of this), pay attention to when things sound formal and when they don't. You have to develop that ear before you can write it.