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dowolf

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Posts posted by dowolf

  1. しびれを切らす here means "to run out of patience waiting." 草食系 might also be throwing you off; while it literally means "herbivore," here, it means something closer to "beta" (as in "alpha male" vs. "beta male").

    I might go with "The culprit was one of the maids in my club. She'd gotten sick and tired of waiting for that beta master ("master" in the sense of a maid cafe; I'm blanking on a better word for it here in English) to make a move on her, so she'd gone to his room to take him then and there."

  2. I believe the "fait accompli" here is referencing the act of sex. Loosely, we could go with "One round in the sack is all you need to turn everything around, so... Maybe I should've tried to trap you in the end." Hopefully that makes sense in context.

    (also, in the following line: "scary," not "dreadful.")

    Additionally:
    んむっ……ふふっ……中々夜伽に誘ってくれないからぁ……んぐちゅぷっ……じゅるじゅるっ……こうしてわたしからぁ……んちゅっ……ちゅぷっ……    Nnn... fufuu... It's an invitation to a wonderful Night service... *suck*... *suck*... My Night Service that is... *suck*... *suck*...  --> Should be "You never seem to invite me to service you at night, so I decided to take the lead"
    んぅ、んっ、はぁ、はぁ、んぅっ、今日初めてのぉ、んぅっ、貴方の精液をっ、んぅっ、んんん~っ……! くだひゃいい~っ……!    Nn, Nn, ha, ha, nn, For my first time today, give me your semen, nnn, nnn...! please...!  --> "Give me your first load of the day!"
    なぁ、ギンガ……確かにこうして奉仕してくれるのは嬉しいけれど、うーん、それで俺がギンガの事を選ぶことには……    Hey, Ginga... certainly I'm glad getting this kind of service, umm, I might be choosing you for that...  --> "But me choosing you over this is sort of..." (the implication here is that he is not going to do it!)
    そうなのぉ……? でも、いっぱい出たし、ギンガにだって、チャンスがぁ……    Really...? But, you've came a lot, I might have the chance... --> Should be "a chance" (these mean different things in English!)
    俺には自分のメイドがいるから、よそのエンパイアクラブのメイドを恋人というか、特別扱いはできないのだけど。    But I don't need this special treatment, since I have my own maid for that, the Empire Club's maid who is also my lover. --> "Because I have my own personal maid, I can't make another maid at the Empire Club my lover, or show any special treatment."    
    何か俺も間違ってしまいそうになるのだった。    Somehow, I almost make a mistake. --> "I felt like I was making a mistake." (if you're writing your prose in present tense, obviously change this)

  3. It simply means "Maybe we had met" (or, in slightly more natural English, "Maybe we once knew each other"). かも is a "I wonder"-if, not a conditional-if.

    Additionally, looking through your translation, one of the biggest problems I see is that you are very literally translating the phrases such that they appear in exactly the same order in English as they do in Japanese. This isn't really a good thing; I would recommend rewriting much of that first paragraph.

  4. My gut instinct would be to go extremely non-literal here and simply come up with something that works in English. Off the top of my head:

    What a good fuck / fucking again?
    I cummed all over her / he's coming after me again?

    Note that I'm also coming from the perspective that it's better to cut a joke or a pun than to overexplain it, which may not be yours.

  5. 17 hours ago, VirginSmasher said:

    I think companies buying fan TLs is fine because the translators get paid for their efforts. Even if the project started on their passion for the VN and the want to share it with the community, getting paid for their work is an added bonus.

    This actually worries me to some extent. The biggest logical reason to buy up a fan translation (rather than doing your own) is the belief that doing so allows you to acquire the translation for less than what would be a fair market rate (the other, of course, being saved time). What might seem like fair compensation for something you expected to do for free might be a far cry from what you might ask for in a more traditional contract.

  6. Quote

    それがあまりにも頻繁に夢に出てくるものだから、
    これはわたし自身に芽生えてしまった気持ちへの
    警告なのだと……いつしか思うようになった。

    I'm not quite sure what you're struggling with here, but here's how I might render the line:

    After all the times that line had come up in my dreams, at some point, my mind had grown convinced that it was a warning against the emotions that had sprouted within me.

  7. してる = している

    ばかにする = to make a fool (of someone).

    Based on what you've told me, there's probably an implied subject in here somewhere (likely not the test itself, though it could be?) and the indirect object is the speaker; i.e., "Argh. She/he/it/they/the universe is making a fool out of me!" would be a literal translation. There's obviously a ton of ways to handle this line, though.

  8. On 2016/3/17 at 11:13 PM, TsukiBaka said:

    If S uncensored ever gets released, I hope it's after all of A series is done translating :sachi:

    Priorities!

    Well, there's little overlap in jobs there; I'm certainly not the one doing the uncensoring.

    I mean, unless you want me to work up some masterpieces in MS Paint.

    (kinda tempted to do this now...)

  9. I'm not sure what's confusing you, so I just went ahead and translated it:

    「なんか、過ぎてみればあっという間だったかな」

    Looking back, it feels like it all happened so quickly. (literally, "now that we've tried going through it")

    「そうですね……あっという間、でした」

    Yeah... Everything went by so fast.

    「でも、これで気ままな一人暮らしに戻れるよ」

    But now I (you? I'm assuming every line flips speakers and there's exactly two, but...) can go back to living alone the way I like.

    「やはり、病院はお嫌でしたか?」

    So you really did hate the hospital?

    「綾乃ちゃんがお見舞いに来てくれたおかげで、そうでもなかったかな。病院食も、意外と美味しかったし」

    Not that much, I guess, since you came to visit me. (possibly "were always coming" or "kept coming," depending on context.) And the hospital food tasted a lot better than I expected.

    「そうですね。最近は、病院の料理もだいぶ美味しくなったと、親戚の集まりで聞いたことがあります」

    I see. I did hear at my last family gathering that hospital food has started tasting a lot better as of late.

    「そうだね。でも、ちょっと濃いめの味付けが恋しくなってきたところだし、ちょうどいいかも」

    Yeah, maybe. But I was just starting to miss food with stronger flavoring, so this might be just the right timing.

  10. 7 hours ago, The Last Melody said:

    Also, how do:

    <jaT0517>……いや、欄外の一番目立つところか。

    tie into the previous sentence?

    Edited 5 hours ago by The Last Melody

    What I'd go with would be something like:

    His/her/that/the name had catapulted straight to the top of my list.
    ...No, maybe it was out in the margins, where it would stand out the most.

    りゃ is short for れば here.

  11. Number of scripts is pretty much meaningless. For instance, in the original Majikoi, every route was contained in its own script file, but the file for each major route was some 10k lines long. And even here, while Azumi and Benkei have roughly the same number of script files, Benkei's is some 400kB compared to Azumi's 300kB.

    (To put these numbers in perspective: Koyuki's route is about 300kB.)

  12. A few other notes/suggestions regarding the translation:

    --Consider dropping "elder."

    --Perhaps have Harp say "My uncle did that?" Whenever there's a "confirming" line like this (I have no idea what to actually call them in English), I try to make it sound as not-blase as possible.

    --While いくら can mean "how many," here, it means "even if." (c.f. いくらなんでも, an expression you've probably encountered somewhere before.)

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