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Status Updates posted by Fiddle

  1. There will be no hats this year, or probably any subsequent year, because I'm busy. Apologies.

    1. Dreamysyu


      What have you done?..


  2. There will be no Santa hats this year. I am too busy.

    Make your own Santa hat avatars, idiots.

    Merry Christmas.

    1. 1P1A


      Christmas is ruined. I hope you're happy.

  3. @Dergonu How did you follow yourself not once but twice, you bastard

  4. Bunk beds are great. Both the top and bottom bunks of the bed are objectively better than a regular bed.

  5. All corn mazes are maize mazes.




    oh my god LOL

    1. Mr Poltroon
    2. x2b


      What a corny joke, but an a-maizing one at that. 😆

  6. who do you think the winner was


  7. Game show prizes should be annually adjusted for inflation.

    1. Fiddle


      Some people would rather not change Who Wants to Be a Millionaire to Who Wants to Be a One Million Five Hundred Seventy-eight Thousand Seven Hundred Fifteen and Forty-nine Cents-aire, but the alternative is screwing people out of their rightful money.

  8. Just remembered I can derive hours of fun by spinning in my spinny chair.

    The government doesn't want you to know this.

  9. Lavender doesn't even smell good.

  10. I miss the Santa hats.

    1. Fiddle


      You people cannot be trusted with more hats. Many are still wearing the hat I gave them a month ago. Some are wearing multiple hats. There shall be no further hats.

    2. Fiddle
  11. The life cycle of popcorn disturbs me just as much today as it did when I was 5 years old.

  12. Christmas is the only holiday that forces the entire month to revolve around it. No other holiday wields such big dick energy.

  13. December is my favorite month.


  14. I used to be a hypochondriac. Then I learned what hypochondria is, and I was like "oh no, maybe I have that," and I was cured.

    1. Mr Poltroon

      Mr Poltroon

      Hm, wow. That is, um, wow.

    2. Fiddle


      it's a joke, tiag

    3. Mr Poltroon

      Mr Poltroon

      Tiag isn't a joke!!!

  15. will be writing out years with a comma (e.g. 2,020) from now on because they have more than three digits

  16. Moths are just butterflies that we've collectively decided are too ugly to be called butterflies.

    1. Mr Poltroon

      Mr Poltroon

      Butterflies are utterly terrifying. At least moths are more honest about their dreadfulness.

    2. Fiddle
  17. I once received a credit card deal for 10% cash back on any Dunkin' Donuts purchase, with the fine text stipulating that the maximum cash back amount was $30. This implies that they were expecting at least one person to purchase $300 of Dunkin' Donuts in one order.

  18. You know, The Sims predicted that I'd piss my pants as an adult far more often than I actually do, so I guess you could say I'm pretty successful.

  19. Cap'n Crunch's "Oops" All Berries cereal was released in 1997 and has now been in stores for about a decade uninterrupted. Contrary to what they keep telling you, I'm starting to think it isn't such an "accident" that it's all berries.


    1. Mr Poltroon

      Mr Poltroon

      I'm somewhat curious as to how that math works out with a supposed release in 1997, but I figure it hinges on the word "uninterrupted".

    2. Fiddle


      It does. It used to be a "limited edition" item, suggesting that they accidentally manufactured nothing but berries on multiple occasions, but now all evidence points to the conspiracy that they're doing it deliberately.

    3. Mr Poltroon
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