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InvertMouse

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Everything posted by InvertMouse

  1. Hi there everyone. A few of you may have heard that my dad has passed away this Monday from cardiac arrest. Never before have I felt so broken. It's like there's a hole in my heart that would never heal again. But after close to a week, I felt the healing process taking place. I can now smile again, and I no longer break into tears at random. When I reflect, my dad's passing has helped me grow so much in the span of three to five days. It's not at all worth the exchange, but now I hold Mum's hand a lot more, and the whole family is closer from the incident. My mind seems to have pushed all of Dad's flaws aside, so now he's turned into some kind of deity who I can always count on to watch over me. I've never been spiritual, but maybe it's all I have now to keep me sane. But as the title suggests, my dad's funeral is on this afternoon, and I'm so nervous about it. I haven't seen Dad's face since I left the hospital on Monday, and after the cremation ceremony tomorrow, I'll never get to see him again. Really scared to guess how I'll respond when I see him today. My wounds have at last begun to heal, but the funeral might tear those stitches open again, which is so tough to bear. I feel terrible for worrying about myself at a time like this, but I must own up to what's going through my mind. For now, I'm telling myself that the funeral should be a celebration of my dad's legacy, but once those doors open, my narrative will probably fly out the window. So yes, if anyone has any advice for me, I'd appreciate that so much. I'm up typing this at 3am because I really can't sleep, so maybe I'm a bit desperate. Of course, I'd be thankful for any good wishes you have for my dad as well. Just a lot of selfishness and confusion on my part. Thank you so much everyone.
  2. Attending my dad's funeral this afternoon

    Thanks Zalor! It's comforting to hear from an old friend :).
  3. Attending my dad's funeral this afternoon

    Thank you so much everyone. I am back from the cremation ceremony, and as I mentioned last night, I really feel at peace. Maybe I'll curl into a ball later and cry at night, but for now, I'm ready to move forward. A lot of you lost loved ones when you were still kids. I can't imagine how I'd be able to deal with that. For me, I had my dad until I'm past 30, so I'd already call that good fortune. I'm independent, my dad's taught me a lot, and his death has taught me even more. Easily one of the most important person in my life. I don't care about celebrities. Guys like Dad are the ones I love and care about. My dad wanted a Buddhist style funeral, so we granted him that wish. Hearing so many people chant for him helped me settle my emotions. I still know nothing about spirits, but if the Buddha exists (or whichever God the individual has faith in), then the ceremony exists to say hey, please take this man's spirit back to your side, and whatever happens after that is up to the Gods. When I think of it like that, it's like the Gods have lent me this spirit for 70+ years, and now it's time for him to return to a better place. Maybe wishful thinking, but I can let it all go when I think this way. Perhaps some day I'll end up wherever he is now as well. I guess this is just part of the journey in our circle of life, assuming such a thing is real. The funeral staff handed us all tissues when it's time for us to say goodbye for the last time, but I didn't end up needing them. There were wet eyes but no tears falling. I feel so determined, so peaceful. My dad knows what dreams I have in life, and now I want him to watch me as I chase after them. Thank you for all of your thoughts! Happy to hear more .
  4. Attending my dad's funeral this afternoon

    Thank you so much for your thoughts everyone. Sorry fun2novel, I couldn't like your post because apparently I can only like 10 posts a day. You are definitely on my thank you list! I am back home from the funeral, and while my eyes were watery all the way through, I don't recall shedding tears. That's a lie though, because I can feel the stains on my cheeks even now. It's like I've forgotten bits and pieces of the ceremony. Dad's no longer with us, and only now do I realize how many people he's touched in his life. Overall, my wounds didn't rip open, so I'm thankful for that. Seeing my dad's face again in that casket for the first time in a week hit me so hard. When he first got rolled in, there was a towel draped over his eyes, and of course one look and you could tell he just came out of the freezer. Just hurts so much to see the man who's held my hand and watched over me for 30 years will never move an inch again. After grieving and exploring so many thoughts, I somehow feel at peace. If spirits are real, I like to think my dad's is no longer in that body anyway. In fact, his spirit just so happened to have chosen that body to borrow for 73 years. Now that the body's failed him, it's time to leave and continue on. I'm willing to admit this is just wishful thinking for me to stay positive, but my mind wanders in that direction on its own. When I have that perspective, I truly feel ready to celebrate his life rather than drown in a constant state of mourning. It's also taught me to think deeper and not judge people based on looks, because these are just shells for us to use temporarily anyway. The cremation ceremony's on tomorrow. Maybe everything I said will backfire and I'll need my whole family to hug me. It wouldn't be the first time that's happened this week, but I hope it'll give me closure more than anything else. If I have the option, I'd like to be the one to press that button to send his casket into the flames, and my siblings will be alongside me of course. I'd like this to be the final form of celebration, the last expression of freedom. Dad told us he wanted to be cremated, so I want to have that honor of fulfilling his final wish. I hope he'll be pleased. My dad was one of those guys who's a softy but likes to say men shouldn't cry. I want to show him that bravery. I had a chance to chat with a lot of older folks this week. They can handle this stuff so much better than I can. These guys say funerals are just a send off, so there's no need to cling onto too much sorrow or regret. If spirits exist, we'll all reunite someday anyway. I do have a lot of guilt and plenty of regrets, but I love Dad and he loved me, so that's all I need to feel at peace. Thank you so much you guys.
  5. Root Letter

    Pretty tempted to pick this one up on the Vita man. Anyone else getting the game, or has already started and has thoughts to share ?
  6. The DLC dilemma

    Hi there . So I finished Fire Emblem Conquest this morning, and for a while there, I thought I wasn't going to make it. There are no sidequests that you can repeat and grind on, so if your units are underleveled, or you lose too many of your characters along the way, you can get pretty screwed over. Of course, if you buy the DLCs, that's an entirely different story. Now you have extra chapters to level up in, more opportunities to earn more gold, etc. When I got stuck during one of the final chapters in Conquest, I was tempted to buy the DLCs for that purpose, but then I thought, does that count as cheating? Surely not, because I am not using any cheat codes, or abusing any glitch in the system, right? When a game features DLC, I always have a nagging fear that the creators will design the game so you will be tempted to pick on those add-ons in order to beat the game. When I struggle or lose, I start to make excuses, saying oh yeah that's just because they want me to buy DLC. A lot of mobile games make me feel that way. Preordered games are another thing as well. If you preorder the game, you get extra cash, an exclusive gun, and things of that sort. I do preorder games on rare occasions, and when I do, I usually avoid using those exclusives unless I am on a second playthrough. Start with more of a pure run, that sort of thing. What are everyone's thoughts on this? Thank you .
  7. Enigma review discussion

    I was just about to ask if this one is worth picking up. Pretty sure I will after seeing this review. Thank you Kaguya !
  8. Root Letter

    Nice, thanks for the info . For me, hearing a game is on the short side actually increases my interest for it. It means it won't be filled with padding, and I only sneak in gaming hours whenever I can, so I like to have titles that I know I have a good chance of finishing. Thanks for your review as well WinterfuryZX. 15 hours is fine with me, though the fragmented story points are always a bit scary. Happy to maybe give it a go though.
  9. visual novels you consider masterpieces

    Ever17, Narcissu Side2nd and Kawana Misaki's route in ONE ~To the Radiant Season~ for me .
  10. Wow, I remember Lamune ! Like Toranth said, it has such a nice osananajimi pairing, and you know, at that age, I really bought into it. That innocence mixed with a bit of immaturity. I feel embarrassed now that I think back, but we all deserve to be a youth at some stage. Nanami will always be all right in my books. Never knew they were making Lamune 2 now! Anyway, the link says "this page is not available in your area." I imagine this is a noob problem for you guys, but a noob is exactly what I am, so can anyone give me some pointers? Thank you !
  11. OELVNs: Their Past, Present and Future

    I typed a really long response to this, but I ended up deleting all of it, and the only thing left is this face:
  12. Who's playing Pokemon Go?

    Now here's the plan; we're gonna head down to the forest. Time to collect, some Pokemon ...
  13. Hi everyone ! I will be attending a few cons in the upcoming months and I am looking forward to them. Often in cons, I would buy works from local artists to show some support. Many of these are fanart, but in cons, this is accepted, right? Comiket would be the biggest example of them all. I heard that a while back, some Touhou fan game project that was going onto Indiegogo got shutdown, and it makes me wonder, when is it okay, and when is it not? Are there any solid rules around this topic? Sometimes, it feels like fan works are okay as long as they never grow too big. Once they make too much money, then it becomes a problem, or something like that. It often isn't about the money either, since that Metroid fan game got shutdown recently, and that was free. Is it because the style is too similar to the original game? I have seen doujin Madoka Magica games solid in stores while I was wandering Akihabara many years ago. If Japan can be known to be strict with this stuff, how come these works are being sold in their own country of all places? Does anyone have any insight on this matter they can share? It feels like such a mystery to me. To be honest, there is a fan story that I have been wanting to produce into a short game, but all of these possible concerns really make me hesitate, which is why I would like to become more knowledgeable in this area. Thank you !
  14. Are fan games / VNs / anything legal?

    Thanks for the replies everyone !
  15. Shan Gui

    Just saw this come out on Steam: http://store.steampowered.com/app/307050/ I know next to nothing about it, though. It is only five bucks so I might just make a random purchase XD. Just wanted to see if anyone is interested or has played the game .
  16. Memory's Dogma

    Just stumbled upon this : https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/sekaiproject/memorys-dogma-a-scifi-indie-visual-novel-from-japa
  17. Who's playing Pokemon Go?

    I used an incense and an Eevee showed up in ma house
  18. The longer the better?

    I mean length in visual novels and games come on guys . But really, I often hear people say they will not give so and so game (and VNs, but I might just use the word game for the rest of this topic) a chance because it is under x hours long. Some will even immediately dismiss the shorter titles as garbage, so I want to see if I can ask for some opinions on this. Earlier today, I received my physical copy of Clannad from that kickstarter last year! Us Aussies here got a bit of a delay, but that's all good. I was stoked at first, but then I thought, it's a 50 hour game mate, as if you'll ever be able to finish it, and then I got sad . Maybe I'm becoming a grumpy and impatient old fart. When I hear a AAA title is 50 hours long, I just think okay, so how much padding is inside? In the case of a VN, it'll be hours upon hours of scenes that might've been taken out in a different medium. I seem to lose patience so quickly, which is on me, but then again, I played through shorter games like Ame no Marginal recently, and I enjoyed them just fine. Many of them were more memorable than the longer ones I tried to slog through. I sound like such a hipster but these are my honest thoughts . In the end, I guess we all just have different requirements. Back in college ten years ago, I went through Ever17 just fine, and that was a 50 hour game. I completed FF X, too, but it'll take me years to do the same thing again now. It's not like either preference is superior, and in fact, after writing this, I think I'll give those longer games another shot. I have Clannad with me right here so why not ? Thanks everyone .
  19. Kyoto Colorful Days

    http://store.steampowered.com/app/464080/ I have a thing for these "travel novel" type games so I bought it. Heard it is quite short as well, which suits my lifestyle. Seems like a pretty stealth release so just want to share it here in case anyone else is interested .
  20. Just stumbled upon this: http://waifubartending.com/ That URL is a bit curious , but this is exactly what I mean by having your own flavor. Daring to have stylish, slightly pixelated graphics, that interlace effect, etc. I will be checking out the game soon and might drop an order if I enjoy it. Feel free to leave thoughts on the game !
  21. The longer the better?

    Thanks for sharing these thoughts everyone. A lot of interesting ideas on here !
  22. The longer the better?

    Thanks for the replies! Dergonu, yeah, I actually want to play Grisaia really badly. The premise seems refreshing, and I am a sucker for pretty pictures like anyone else, but all it takes is for one person out there to say a game has fluff scenes, and I want out . Deep Blue, Narcissu Side 2nd is not just one of my favorites, but my very favorite visual novel of all time! It lasted for around six hours with my reading speed. Oh yeah, that's another thing I forgot to mention. I'm a slow ass reader man. See, I like to read the lines and imagine being in the scene, which really slows things down. Sometimes I skim read when I know a game is long, but then I just end up not enjoying the journey, even if I do ultimately complete the read. By the way, thank you so much for keeping that Vinty emoticon around. I treat it as a massive honor and never take it for granted .
  23. Some curiosities I have

    Yeah, with those stats from SteamSpy, I think they include keys from bundles, so the numbers can be misleading. Money wise, my newer titles are performing way better than Bermuda. I did a horrendous job of managing Bermuda. It deserves the bad reviews and does not deserve to be on that list :(. As for Kickstarter, I am not all that smart with money, but I have done a few back when it was a newer thing for visual novels. When you take the physical printing and shipping costs into account, your finance can quickly spiral into a disaster, even if things feel great at first.
  24. Hey everyone ! I have been in the workforce for about a decade, and in recent years, I am getting opportunities to do team management tasks. It is something I enjoy a lot, and it is affecting the rest of my lifestyle as well. I used to be a self centered basketball player, but now, I finally appreciate the value of teamwork. As a kid, I idolized players like Jordan and Kobe, and lately, I have taken an interest in how guys like Pat Riley managed to assemble those dominant teams. My newfound interest made me pick up XCOM2, because I love the idea of managing a base, and if I fail, the human race will fall to ruin. I actually would have loved to have a mode where you interview and hire a tactician, then you let her run the battles and report the results to you, or maybe I am just too chicken to take on that responsibility . When the latest basketball manager game came out, I was tempted to pick it up as well, but I am unfamiliar with how salaries work, so I kind of wimped out. I want to get everyone's thoughts on these types of games, and maybe some suggestions as well, both weebern and western titles. Civilization is one example that I have in mind. It is still early, but I want to invest into producing a game of this sort next year, too. Thank you !
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