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arakura

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  1. Like
    arakura reacted to Flutterz for a blog entry, Moe Repository #26   
    Attention Fuwanovel! This is a very important announcement!
    MOE MOE MOE MOE MOE MOE MOE MOE



  2. Like
    arakura got a reaction from Chronopolis for a blog entry, Changing is Hard   
    Last week I read It's A Hard Life. Three years ago I read Katawa Shoujo. And here I sit, writing, having finished neither of them. I bring this up because it says something about me that might not be immediately obvious and I wonder if maybe this actually matters. I think I'm in dire need of some accountability and of some understanding of what I'm really doing with myself.

    So, the first thing to do is to take a step back and think about why I haven't finished half of my favorite stories. From the Dune series to Yokohama Kaidashi Kikou to Hakomari and more, I've struggled for years to actually finish the stories I love the most. It's kind of a weird problem, as far as I can tell. I haven't run into anyone with quite the same issue. Let's begin.


    Do you know that moment? That moment when something is so good that you cannot stand it being ruined; When you tell your family to be quiet or turn off your phone so that nothing distracts you from something truly amazing. That moment when you decide that crunching on some chips does the mood a disservice and seriously focus in on what may just be the best thing you've read in the last two years. Or ever. It's that moment when I tell myself that the time isn't right. The mood needs improvement and I'm a little tired so tomorrow when I'm feeling utterly perfect is when I will return to this amazing experience. It's that moment, when I become aware of everything around me, that it all goes downhill. Because the perfect moment rarely arrives.
    So why not, as others have offered, just screw the mood and jump into it? It just always feels wrong. It's like having trouble trust falling. I'm afraid that if I take the chance and screw the mood, take the fall, and trust in the strength of the story I have chosen that I'll end up in in pieces on the floor. It's pretty dramatic, I know, but the dangers aren't skin-deep.

    A professor of mine once said, "identity is about the creation of meaning." And I really believe that. I've always told myself that these stories mean something. That they matter to me because they are somehow important, even if it isn't exactly clear how. These days I tie my very identity to their impact on me as a person and my development. They hold a place in my heart that I don't think it's exactly normal for stories to hold, but I'm quite happy that they are there anyway.

    That's really what it comes down to. I'm afraid that if I'm distracted or something is wrong with my mentality or what-have-you that I'll no longer feel the way I did earlier. How horrible it would be if one day I pick up the third Dune book to realize that it's not actually as good as I imagined it would be. If I were to rewatch Guilty Crown and find a plot hole I would be crushed. Something more than a story will have changed. Something about me will be different. Something I don't want to be different. It's because somewhere in the world of me I put value in these stories and they sit there in their pretty glass cases in my mind. I look at them and think to myself 'how pretty that was' or 'how much you matter to me'. I am afraid that one day I will look at something once beloved and no longer will that passion burn. And then I will be left with nothing (well... not nothing). So I stop reading Dune, afraid that the third book will not live up to my image of the first two. I stop watching Ghost in the Shell because the timing isn't right. I stop and I worry and I worry.

    I stop because I feel fragile. I want to change. So I will.

    More on that to come, probably. Thanks for reading and I'd be glad if you left a comment.
  3. Like
    arakura reacted to Rose for a blog entry, Introduction and Japan   
    Introduction


    This is probably a fucking terrible idea but I felt like making a blog to talk/rant/cry/be dumb about stuff. I'll try to be serious about mostly everything I say here, but I doubt I'll manage to not end up lightly flaming or saying bullshit sometimes, sorry in advance about that. T_T

    I'll use this post to talk about my trip to Japan as well since blogging two lines would be hella lame.





    Japan


    Alright, where should I start? Well, my nationality might be Brazilian but my ethnicity is Japanese, so I always had a bit of interest on Japan. I lived there when I was a baby but that doesn't counts anyway. I went there with my grandparents, younger brother and fucking four cousins - two of them stayed with their parents there though -, just imagine the disaster the whole thing was. Getting everyone ready on the airport was hell, the airplane was hell, getting our luggage was hell, bathroom breaks were hell, the whole thing was basically hell if you didn't got it yet. I don't really talk to any of them aside from one of the cousins, which is the closest to a regular family interaction that I have. I call him Mini-Bitch because of reasons and that's how I'll be referring to him through the post.

    When we actually landed in Japan and got out of the plane, holy moly what a cold place. We went straight for my aunt's house where we all would stay for the whole trip and got received with a really nice dinner, assorted traditional foods on the table and some fucking delicious apple juice on the fridge. No, seriously, that juice is worse than drugs, Mini-Bitch and I bought it wherever we found it, that shit is fucking dangerous lmfao.

    Food was delicious, seriously, the meals felt solid but never really too much that you'd feel heavy, unless you're dumb like me and orders a goddamn three plates large curry dish and eat it all, then you're probably going to die for around an hour just like I did. Not gonna lie though, the lack of meat was hard to deal with after a while. Even when there was meat on the dishes it wasn't the same thing, mostly due to how they prefer to prepare it which is not exactly to my tastes, but still a bit above decent. Fucking drink machines every fucking corner sucked my coins dry on my first week, took me a while to notice where the fuck they were all going. Keep that in mind if you ever visit Japan, 100~130 yen for a good drink basically anywhere might not look like a lot but it'll consume your whole wallet before you notice.

    I visit a shit ton of places but I'll only talk about a few of those, either because it was really cool or because it left a great impression for whatever reason. First of all, Osu Kanon had a shopping district that was pretty legit when compared to the other places I visited, maybe it's just because it was the first place I visited when I got there but I'll definitely try to go there again someday. During christmas I went to somewhere-whose-name-I-never-got-to-know and had my first white christmas in my whole life, such magic (Christmas happens during Summer here). I had my first snowball fight, there's something simply unique to feeling your body slowly hardening due to cold after being hit a thousand times by dumb-shits who don't know how to aim when you team up, and I also built a failure of a snowman that I love a lot, I'll never forget you Pedrito. (´._.`)

    New Year was w/e, we just had a kinda fancy dinner with crab (which is not exactly that good anyway) and some booze - best part right here. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that Japan has some delicious alcoholic drinks and I'd love to have tried more of them but I couldn't buy anything since I'm not old enough, so all I got my hands on was whatever my aunt had lying around on her fridge and occasionally something I managed to convince her to buy me. ヽ(͡◕ ͜ʖ ͡◕)ノ

    Talking about booze, I'll leave my rant here that I couldn't find a single decent vodka there! End of rant, so let's get back to cool places. I really liked the planetarium and the aquarium since I had never been to any of those before. I saw the stars Yumemi, I saw them ;------------;. Went to Disney again and that place is seriously overrated. It's a good park and all that but you can't compare it to other Japanese parks or stuff like Universal Studios, Disney is all about making dreams come true and believing in magic. While I look like I'm flaming it, I spent my whole fucking day singing "Do you believe in magic?" so ヽ(◉◡◔)ノヽ(◉◡◔)ノヽ(◉◡◔)ノヽ(◉◡◔)ノ. I won't talk about the other parks because I'm not really into amusement parks, they were really fun though, I just don't get all crazy over it.

    Alright, let's move to Tokyo now. I visited some cool places that once again I never got to know the name, had some good food, slept on a good hotel and managed to get some booze once again woooooo. I visited Akiba twice and God what a crazy place. First time there was when I met Ren, who I'll talk more about in the end. It's an amazing place that is really fun to just hang around and look at the showcases, specially the figures. I'm not a collector but I got myself some just cuz I tilted and felt like spending money that I could have saved for more VNs, food or clothes. Honestly, I never thought I'd ever see that much porn on the shelters of a store that wasn't specifically a porn store lmfao, gotta love sofmap. I'll try to post pictures later or maybe just make a video about the shit I bought, dunno about it yet. Oh yeah, idols are fucking everywhere, love live is like cancer jesus macaroni penis what a joy it was to listen to u's songs everywhere.

    Hm... I think that's enough to define that my trip was amazing and I'd love to visit the country again, fuck, I'm actually going to try and become a teacher there. Talking about teachers, let's talk about Ren now. Oh boy, how do I start this? Ren is a fucking giant and I'm a dwarf, that was basically how people saw us there probably. I came out of the subway station, first thing I see is a tall foreigner with a red-beanie, just like the one Ren said that he'd be wearing, I just wasn't expecting him to be like, 20~30 cm+ taller than me (゚ー゚). He showed me around the place, taught me the good places to get some cheap stuff and explained about a lot of things, such as sofmap's green/blue warnings on used games and how pre-orders work. We had some quality-time you know? Talking about weeb shit and eating McDonald's with no french fries, btw McDonalds became a thing that I always have to mention when I just wanna drop a random comment to some thread of his or a reply to him, I don't remember how it started but it was probably me being retarded. There's not much to talk about our meeting really, we went around the stores hunting for porn games to talk about, had some laughs looking at how broken their english was on game covers, had some McDonald's, quality-time, more laughs as he would hit his head on signs placed on the ceiling of the stores (LMFAOJA8FHEAFHA) and we shared life philosophies that can't even be expressed in digital letters, fuck binary. Great times, buddy, great times. Until he started showing me Love Live hentai, that fucker ruined my idols forever (ಠ_ಠ). I said it before though I can't recall the context, but I'm definitely going to kill you.

    I think that's it. I did no edits and I don't think I'll do any just for the fun factor that is reading something written literally straight from my mind, as in I thought about something and wrote it down immediately without thinking about how I'd order things (Akiba was before Christmas). I just thought about it and I actually only mentioned Mini-Bitch once here even though I made it look like he was going to be present everywhere lol. He's a piece of shit but he made this trip a lot funnier than I expected so shout-out to him though he'll never read this nor know about the existence of this blog . Okay, I think that's it, I'll add an @edit below if I remember something relevant to add. Thanks for reading everyone.
  4. Like
    arakura got a reaction from Cyrillej1 for a blog entry, Changing is Hard   
    Last week I read It's A Hard Life. Three years ago I read Katawa Shoujo. And here I sit, writing, having finished neither of them. I bring this up because it says something about me that might not be immediately obvious and I wonder if maybe this actually matters. I think I'm in dire need of some accountability and of some understanding of what I'm really doing with myself.

    So, the first thing to do is to take a step back and think about why I haven't finished half of my favorite stories. From the Dune series to Yokohama Kaidashi Kikou to Hakomari and more, I've struggled for years to actually finish the stories I love the most. It's kind of a weird problem, as far as I can tell. I haven't run into anyone with quite the same issue. Let's begin.


    Do you know that moment? That moment when something is so good that you cannot stand it being ruined; When you tell your family to be quiet or turn off your phone so that nothing distracts you from something truly amazing. That moment when you decide that crunching on some chips does the mood a disservice and seriously focus in on what may just be the best thing you've read in the last two years. Or ever. It's that moment when I tell myself that the time isn't right. The mood needs improvement and I'm a little tired so tomorrow when I'm feeling utterly perfect is when I will return to this amazing experience. It's that moment, when I become aware of everything around me, that it all goes downhill. Because the perfect moment rarely arrives.
    So why not, as others have offered, just screw the mood and jump into it? It just always feels wrong. It's like having trouble trust falling. I'm afraid that if I take the chance and screw the mood, take the fall, and trust in the strength of the story I have chosen that I'll end up in in pieces on the floor. It's pretty dramatic, I know, but the dangers aren't skin-deep.

    A professor of mine once said, "identity is about the creation of meaning." And I really believe that. I've always told myself that these stories mean something. That they matter to me because they are somehow important, even if it isn't exactly clear how. These days I tie my very identity to their impact on me as a person and my development. They hold a place in my heart that I don't think it's exactly normal for stories to hold, but I'm quite happy that they are there anyway.

    That's really what it comes down to. I'm afraid that if I'm distracted or something is wrong with my mentality or what-have-you that I'll no longer feel the way I did earlier. How horrible it would be if one day I pick up the third Dune book to realize that it's not actually as good as I imagined it would be. If I were to rewatch Guilty Crown and find a plot hole I would be crushed. Something more than a story will have changed. Something about me will be different. Something I don't want to be different. It's because somewhere in the world of me I put value in these stories and they sit there in their pretty glass cases in my mind. I look at them and think to myself 'how pretty that was' or 'how much you matter to me'. I am afraid that one day I will look at something once beloved and no longer will that passion burn. And then I will be left with nothing (well... not nothing). So I stop reading Dune, afraid that the third book will not live up to my image of the first two. I stop watching Ghost in the Shell because the timing isn't right. I stop and I worry and I worry.

    I stop because I feel fragile. I want to change. So I will.

    More on that to come, probably. Thanks for reading and I'd be glad if you left a comment.
  5. Like
    arakura got a reaction from LinovaA for a blog entry, Changing is Hard   
    Last week I read It's A Hard Life. Three years ago I read Katawa Shoujo. And here I sit, writing, having finished neither of them. I bring this up because it says something about me that might not be immediately obvious and I wonder if maybe this actually matters. I think I'm in dire need of some accountability and of some understanding of what I'm really doing with myself.

    So, the first thing to do is to take a step back and think about why I haven't finished half of my favorite stories. From the Dune series to Yokohama Kaidashi Kikou to Hakomari and more, I've struggled for years to actually finish the stories I love the most. It's kind of a weird problem, as far as I can tell. I haven't run into anyone with quite the same issue. Let's begin.


    Do you know that moment? That moment when something is so good that you cannot stand it being ruined; When you tell your family to be quiet or turn off your phone so that nothing distracts you from something truly amazing. That moment when you decide that crunching on some chips does the mood a disservice and seriously focus in on what may just be the best thing you've read in the last two years. Or ever. It's that moment when I tell myself that the time isn't right. The mood needs improvement and I'm a little tired so tomorrow when I'm feeling utterly perfect is when I will return to this amazing experience. It's that moment, when I become aware of everything around me, that it all goes downhill. Because the perfect moment rarely arrives.
    So why not, as others have offered, just screw the mood and jump into it? It just always feels wrong. It's like having trouble trust falling. I'm afraid that if I take the chance and screw the mood, take the fall, and trust in the strength of the story I have chosen that I'll end up in in pieces on the floor. It's pretty dramatic, I know, but the dangers aren't skin-deep.

    A professor of mine once said, "identity is about the creation of meaning." And I really believe that. I've always told myself that these stories mean something. That they matter to me because they are somehow important, even if it isn't exactly clear how. These days I tie my very identity to their impact on me as a person and my development. They hold a place in my heart that I don't think it's exactly normal for stories to hold, but I'm quite happy that they are there anyway.

    That's really what it comes down to. I'm afraid that if I'm distracted or something is wrong with my mentality or what-have-you that I'll no longer feel the way I did earlier. How horrible it would be if one day I pick up the third Dune book to realize that it's not actually as good as I imagined it would be. If I were to rewatch Guilty Crown and find a plot hole I would be crushed. Something more than a story will have changed. Something about me will be different. Something I don't want to be different. It's because somewhere in the world of me I put value in these stories and they sit there in their pretty glass cases in my mind. I look at them and think to myself 'how pretty that was' or 'how much you matter to me'. I am afraid that one day I will look at something once beloved and no longer will that passion burn. And then I will be left with nothing (well... not nothing). So I stop reading Dune, afraid that the third book will not live up to my image of the first two. I stop watching Ghost in the Shell because the timing isn't right. I stop and I worry and I worry.

    I stop because I feel fragile. I want to change. So I will.

    More on that to come, probably. Thanks for reading and I'd be glad if you left a comment.
  6. Like
    arakura got a reaction from Tay for a blog entry, Changing is Hard   
    Last week I read It's A Hard Life. Three years ago I read Katawa Shoujo. And here I sit, writing, having finished neither of them. I bring this up because it says something about me that might not be immediately obvious and I wonder if maybe this actually matters. I think I'm in dire need of some accountability and of some understanding of what I'm really doing with myself.

    So, the first thing to do is to take a step back and think about why I haven't finished half of my favorite stories. From the Dune series to Yokohama Kaidashi Kikou to Hakomari and more, I've struggled for years to actually finish the stories I love the most. It's kind of a weird problem, as far as I can tell. I haven't run into anyone with quite the same issue. Let's begin.


    Do you know that moment? That moment when something is so good that you cannot stand it being ruined; When you tell your family to be quiet or turn off your phone so that nothing distracts you from something truly amazing. That moment when you decide that crunching on some chips does the mood a disservice and seriously focus in on what may just be the best thing you've read in the last two years. Or ever. It's that moment when I tell myself that the time isn't right. The mood needs improvement and I'm a little tired so tomorrow when I'm feeling utterly perfect is when I will return to this amazing experience. It's that moment, when I become aware of everything around me, that it all goes downhill. Because the perfect moment rarely arrives.
    So why not, as others have offered, just screw the mood and jump into it? It just always feels wrong. It's like having trouble trust falling. I'm afraid that if I take the chance and screw the mood, take the fall, and trust in the strength of the story I have chosen that I'll end up in in pieces on the floor. It's pretty dramatic, I know, but the dangers aren't skin-deep.

    A professor of mine once said, "identity is about the creation of meaning." And I really believe that. I've always told myself that these stories mean something. That they matter to me because they are somehow important, even if it isn't exactly clear how. These days I tie my very identity to their impact on me as a person and my development. They hold a place in my heart that I don't think it's exactly normal for stories to hold, but I'm quite happy that they are there anyway.

    That's really what it comes down to. I'm afraid that if I'm distracted or something is wrong with my mentality or what-have-you that I'll no longer feel the way I did earlier. How horrible it would be if one day I pick up the third Dune book to realize that it's not actually as good as I imagined it would be. If I were to rewatch Guilty Crown and find a plot hole I would be crushed. Something more than a story will have changed. Something about me will be different. Something I don't want to be different. It's because somewhere in the world of me I put value in these stories and they sit there in their pretty glass cases in my mind. I look at them and think to myself 'how pretty that was' or 'how much you matter to me'. I am afraid that one day I will look at something once beloved and no longer will that passion burn. And then I will be left with nothing (well... not nothing). So I stop reading Dune, afraid that the third book will not live up to my image of the first two. I stop watching Ghost in the Shell because the timing isn't right. I stop and I worry and I worry.

    I stop because I feel fragile. I want to change. So I will.

    More on that to come, probably. Thanks for reading and I'd be glad if you left a comment.
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