appp

I'd like to clarify what I meant in Kei's case (spoilers: @evan, you're perfectly right). Right now we have the All-Ages version of the game, which means of course that the sex scene that happens near the end of her route was left out. As usual, the romance arc between her and the hero gets completed right before that. This mean there's a romantic build-up going on. My gripe with that line is that it's so explicit it utterly destroys that romantic mood while doing very little other than stating that the obvious intercourse did happen. If it were the 18+ version, that wouldn't have happened because the mood would have changed during the H-scene. What I failed to notice is that it's a conversation topic or at best a legitimate criticism, not something you bring up to the translation team. Your point was so painfully obvious I can't believe it didn't occur to me: you're not editing the game, you're translating it into the most pleasant yet faithful script you can achieve. And even if you had such freedom (say it weren't a professional project), that's still pretty much a subjective matter and one that alter the original meaning at that. I still think Age could have done a better job with its All-Ages version in that regard, but it's definitely not something you should worry about. Back to Miki, I think this is a much worse mistake from Age (since you're saying it's the same in Japanese). Again, it's because it really isn't obvious the H-scene is happening during a first read: they're not in bed, it's not clear the route is almost over (they could have perfectly followed up with a rematch or whatever) and even if it were they could just go elsewhere first. Therefore the 'desecrating' line really seems like it refers to what the reader has really seen them doing, which is basically kissing. It becomes a problem because it can make sense: maybe the archery hall is so holy simply kissing in there is blasphemy. It's just plain stupid. That's why it was so confusing to me. I understand there's not much you can do if Age prefers to keep it the way it is (or if it's just not important enough for them to hear), but it did affect reading for me and I couldn't have known it comes straight from the Japanese (plus you had just told us about adaptations in the All-Ages version which I wrongly assumed came from the translation team). Anyway, I won't take any more of your time. Thanks for replying back then.

Don't worry, I don't think it is Actually, I shouldn't have brought up Kei's line; as you said it's pretty clear they've just had sex (and the Steam page has an age warning, and I'm pretty sure most people buying this know where it came from and most have played other eroge before, myself included). Miki's the only one I feel noteworthy because when I read it I really had no idea something other than the kissing part had happened. I don't know Muv-Luv beforehand so the actual H-scene could have been anywhere for all I knew. That's why I ended up confused—not annoyed or anything, just confused, in the "wait did I miss something there?" sense. That being said maybe I simply missed something in the script before. Also you seem to be a bit on the defensive, so I wanted to mention that I wasn't really criticizing the translation (which is near perfect) or expecting any change, I simply wanted to relate my experience. I'm not a native speaker so it must have come out wrong, sorry about that.

As a first time reader of Muv-Luv, I think some of the transitions after the cut content can still be a bit awkward. So far I've only read Miki's and Kei's routes (getting the shortest endings first to unlock the gallery), and at least for Miki it think it could have been better: they're basically hugging and kissing, and the next line goes something like "After we desecrated this holy place" (not an exact quote). I was like "uh? 'desecrated'? isn't that a bit strong for a bit of cuddling?" before realizing that was probably just after a H-scene happened. Had have not known the original release was 18+ I'd still be confused about that line. Kei's was much better in that regard (it's obvious what they're going to do in that situation) but again a plain "I still feel you inside of me" (again, not an exact quote) from her could have been eased up a little in the All-Age version. Something like a narrator line "Well, we did it". Haven't read the other endings so I can't comment on them. But anyway the rest of the translation flows incredibly well so I certainly can't complain apart for that. Good work!