On May 11th, 2017 (ie, Thursday last week) the parody visual novel "Stay! Stay! Democratic People's Republic of Korea" was released. Most people probably know that I wrote it. Well, 90% or so of it, there were some humor changes and a couple last-minute changes to make some things make sense, those were done by the Project Leader. But for the vast majority of it, it's my handiwork.
I actually got picked for the project because the developer advertised here on the boards. I submitted a sample, they liked it and brought me in. So without the boards, I wouldn't have had the chance to do the project. For that I'm extremely grateful.
I'm actually really grateful because, in a sense, it's a comeback for me. A long time ago I wrote sports articles for newspapers. You may not think it's relevant, but the sports section is actually one of the places you're supposed to expect some creativity when it comes to writing. The last year I had done it, I was in New Hampshire at a weekly start-up in its infancy - The Connecticut Valley Spectator (it was owned by The Eagles Times, but they went kaput years ago during the first couple death waves to newspapers). They pretty much turned over most of the staff after about 8-9 months, including myself. To be fair, I was doing everything for the section then - stories, page layout, even photography. I was pretty burned out, and trying to get people on board for a new local weekly isn't easy. Once I was let go with the others, I hadn't really done a job in professional writing since.
No, this isn't me trying to influence the forthcoming review. It is what it is and if the reviewer here loves it great, if not, I'm willing to listen to what they think would have been better. But the initial Steam reviews, both "real" and "shitposting real" have been really good.
But it also just feels really nice to have written something that people are reading once again. And without the boards here, it wouldn't have happened. So this place - it's alright.
And yes, you can tell me how much you loved or hated it if you read it. I don't bite. I'm actually super nice. WAIT WRONG ICON!!!
WARNING - This post WILL have spoilers for a new Visual Novel. If you don't like spoilers, go read something else I wrote. Like ask onii-chan a question, hmmmmm?
Okay, Unwonted Studios recently released "No One But You" - a visual novel about a young man who returns to his hometown and runs into girls, picks up a weird friend and does stuff. That's the layman's gist of it.
Okay, so Hidaeki moves back home. Meets cute girls. Can pursue cute girls. Cute girls are emotional wrecks - it's like Katawa Shoujo, but without all the physical cripples. Oh, and while the artwork is really nice, why does Hidaeki look so much like his best buddy Ryo? Are they really long-lost twins? Is this a route I can unlock later?
Anyway, I've only finished two routes so far - the long lost girl who's now a tsundere Yui and the overly clingy big boobed Megumi. I enjoyed Yui's route well enough. No real complaints, other than I'm getting a bit sick of reading heroines pushing away the protagonist they love because they don't want to hurt them again or anymore or in the future. EMBRACE YOUR CLUELESS PROTAGONIST! THERE'S A REAL LIFE HUMAN BEHIND HIM AT THE KEYBOARD WHO JUST WANTS TO WAIFU YOU FOREVER!!! I WILL WAIFU YOU, YUI, FOR YOUR AUBURN HAIR!!!
The Megumi route... was awful. I'm sorry, I wanted to like it. There's a story in there that could have been good. But it was just done awfully. Terribly. The logical plotholes in the route are large enough to designate a new Zip Code to. You see, Megumi had a big sister, but not so big that they couldn't be in high school together and be on the student council together. Which means they're only a year or two apart in age. Remember this, because in the story, Megumi is STILL IN HIGH SCHOOL. Why is this important? Because a charming teacher that all the idiot girls in the high school get moist in the britches over is really just a rapist, and he's going to rape Hitomi (that's Megumi's sister, but you probably guessed that) but Megumi catches him, proceeds to angrily taunt him by calling him a pedophile, all while he's got his hands around Hitomi (and his dick near her ass), and he loses it and smashes Hitomi's head into the desk, killing her. But he gets caught! He's got her hairs in his hands, her blood on his shoes, his fingerprints on her - it's an open and shut case.
Fast forward a year or two. Megumi lives alone, because her parents don't give a flying fuck about her now that Hitomi is dead. Right, because parents wouldn't naturally cling to their only remaining child in the tragic loss of the other. Oh no - push that dumb bitch aside, stupid younger sibling - WHY DIDN'T THE TEACHER RAPE AND MURDER YOU INSTEAD?!?! Sorry, lost track there... okay, remember the TIME FRAME. TIME FRAME IS IMPORTANT. It can only be a year or so later, and RAPIST PEDOPHILE MURDERER DOODEYHEAD TEACHER IS BACK TEACHING AT THE SAME SCHOOL. Oh, AND ASSIGNED TO MEGUMI'S CLASS.
If your head hasn't exploded from the gaping lack of legal logic there, congratulations. I'll repeat it for you: okay, remember the TIME FRAME. TIME FRAME IS IMPORTANT. It can only be a year or so later, and RAPIST PEDOPHILE MURDERER DOODEYHEAD TEACHER IS BACK TEACHING AT THE SAME SCHOOL. Oh, AND ASSIGNED TO MEGUMI'S CLASS.
Okay, let's assume his off-handed remark of "paying people off" to stay out of jail holds true. Guess it can happen. Millionaires do it all the time, so why not a low-wage high school worker in Japan, right? Maybe he has family money and instead of lounging away at a private beach in Hakkaido, he turned to teaching... SO HE COULD RAPE GIRLS. Could happen. Fine.
However, there's no way in the fucking world the Japanese school system would have let him keep his license or issued him a new one. NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. The evidence against him was already stated to be right there. But let's say they slip up and somehow he gets his license back. THE SAME SCHOOL WHERE HE MURDERED A STUDENT HIRES HIM AND ASSIGNS HIM TO THE CLASS OF THE WITNESS WHO IS ALSO THE SISTER OF THE DECEASED WHO COULD ONLY BE DEAD A YEAR OR SO FROM THIS INCIDENT? Bullshit. Absolute bullshit. Complete nonsense. That fucker would be on the "No Fly Zone" list at that school. He comes within 50 feet and alarms go off and cops beat him bloody. I assign this plot hole a Zip Code of 0821-NO. (FUWA points to the person who Googles this zip code with actual last digit.)
Okay, this was really a blog post of me railing against the Megumi story... I still have other routes to finish, but that route really, REALLY annoyed me to the fullest.
I'd still waifu Yui. Sexy tsundere. Growl.
So this year I've taken to writing some independent OELVN pieces, two freebies that have both gone on some sort of hiatus and one paid one that I'm nearing completion of. One of the freebies the project lead kind of had her own vision for what I was writing (and I was too verbose). The other the lead liked what I wrote and even had a demo made of it. You can view it on YouTube. I did the writing, and yes, it's based on the anime "Free!" No money changed hands, in case you were wondering, and my work was, also, free. But I haven't heard back from her or about the project since late spring. Not sure if it's just on hiatus or she got other writers to do the character routes.
That brings me to the paid project I'm close to finishing - "Stay! Stay! People's Democratic Republic of Korea" is, as you would suspect, in part a parody of Overdrive's "Go! Go! Nippon!" The project leader has been really supportive, and has mostly liked what I've given him. (There was one part where he toned down some of the tropes a bit. Maybe one day after release I'll be allowed to show the original script.) The intro, all "date" routes and interludes have been written and most edited. I'm down to the group outing and finale. I know where I want to go - it's a matter of actually getting it down. Sometimes it's hard working a full-time job, helping to raise two kids with a wife who also works full-time, and then writing on the side as well. So I'm not getting it done as fast as I'd like. I blame Fate/Grand Order, Drift Girls and Granblue Fantasy as well. CURSE YOU FUN PHONE/TABLET APP GAMES!!!
Darr over at DEVGRU_P has been keeping busy lately, adding in some other projects for production, such as Maid Mansion. He's a pretty nice guy and easy to work with. We're already talking future works beyond "Stay! Stay!" as well, so I'm pretty happy. I guess my main hope is that I'm as good a writer as I feel I am and the game/story goes over well.
Also, Eunji best Tsundere 2017!!!
I know I'm shattering some hopes and dreams here, but nurses do not wear what we wish they wore.
What we wish for:
What is reality:
Well I never said nurses couldn't be cute.
They just don't wear short skirts and thigh highs.
Thanks to reading visual novels, I've learned something new. Something I probably could have lived the rest of my life happy having never known.
I hate the term "honey pot" in place of "vagina" when reading eroges. Actually, I'd hate it anywhere but I'd never seen it until I started reading eroges.
It's bad enough that, so far that I've read, the vast majority of h-scenes are so awkwardly written that it makes "Super Hornio Brothers" and "The Bare Wench Project" seem like literary achievements in the entertainment format. Add to it the protagonist talking about her "honey pot" and I'm getting the image of some random Japanese dude with the same shaggy haircut as every other protagonist banging Winnie-the-Pooh's meal container. You already ruined the mood with the two people rutting thinking they can manage to cum together. Now you're adding terrible euphemisms into it? Just call it a vagina. Or slit. Or pussy. Even cunt if you must, though that's pretty harsh. But honey pot? Really?
You're already writing about a scene with naked cartoon people. Why chicken out with such a lame phrase?
So after railing about the lack of logic in Megumi's story in No One But You, I've moved on to the wonderful world of ghosts, which defy logic anyway, so it's all good to be illogical. Because it's a ghost story.
With ghost stories, a lot of times you can see them coming from a mile away. The author either accidentally or intentionally tips his hand that his story involves ghosts. Bruce Willis is the exception, not the rule. And that's okay. I'm down for a good ghost story, especially if it can draw an emotion out of me. If you can surprise me so much the better, but you don't have to for it to be a good story.
Congratulations, writer of Chinatsu's route. While you didn't surprise me, you made me cry. A lot. If I don't find some Visene soon I'm just going to go get drunk and blame my red eyes on the booze. Can a ghost be a waifu? Because I would make Chinatsu my ghost waifu.
So you scored on that route, NOBY. While I could tell she was a ghost, you did a very nice job of keeping it from the protagonist. Most of the ways she used to hide her secret from him were very plausible, which certainly helped strengthen the story. The ending, while expected, was still well done, which is what's important in a ghost romance story anyway. Let's face it, most ghost stories end with the ghost fading away, finally having the one thing keeping them chained to the living world accomplished, making it time to go. If you write it well, it's all that matters. I can't even call it a cliche because there aren't many other ways to end a ghost story. Ghost either stays on Earth forever (which would probably be a bad end) or ghost finally knows peace. Great job on giving Chinatsu peace.
Actually, I'm pretty much through with the VN, as I only have one achievement left on Steam to earn, and I'm pretty sure it's the "Your protagonist sucks at life" achievement, where he doesn't get a character route at all. Overall, Loved Chinatsu's route, really liked Yui's route, Shiro's route was just okay, Megumi's route infuriated my sense of logic... and I skipped through Ryo's route because I just don't go for that. Overall it's a decent enough read. It's strength tends to be in character interaction over plot most of the time.
And the protagonist still looks like Ryo...
As some may or may not know, a long time ago (in a galaxy far, far away - New Jersey and New Hampshire) I was a writer/editor for sports sections of some different newspapers. I loved it, because I've always loved writing. And I've managed to profit off of it (let's not discuss high school where I wrote papers for money). But newspapers are an industry practically on its deathbed and my last job feel through. With sports, it's hard to get in, as it's a great job and those who bet them stay until the bitter end. Can't say I blame them - you get paid to watch a game and then write about it. So I've fallen in love with the visual novel format this year, and have been looking for ways to get in on projects. Frankly, I miss writing for an audience. I'm not even looking for payment - I just want to write and have someone read it. So I'm pretty stoked that I'm working on a project. Now I have to get used to writing in more of a VN format as opposed to prose. I'll keep everyone updated on the project as it goes along.
CONFESSION: I use you guys in lieu of an actual social life. I really do. The internet has made certain things easier. When you find people you share things in common with and can socialize in some way, such as message boards about Japanese porno games stories, you tend to use it as a surrogate friendship. Heck, I actually got married because of CrossGen's boards way back in the day. So, I love you guys.
Recently I started a post of random silliness, dubbing myself your onii-chan (yep, if you're reading this or that, I'm now your onii-chan). As part of it, one particular poster (jokingly) asked to borrow $40 to buy a visual novel. I responded as to being open with the idea because I kind of am. And I actually did send $40 to a person on Twitter that I don't even know, as he needed it to pay the vet for his cat's operation. It seemed legitimate, and while I can't afford to waste money, in the big scheme of things it's not that much and if it did help save his cat, I feel pretty good. Teh feelz, ya know? So anyway, it made me wonder how many people would be willing to chip in and buy a person a VN just because it's nice and it makes you feel good and it spreads the love of reading. Then it made me wonder about all of the logistics - who would the money funnel through and how? How do we verify the recipient is of age to receive an 18+ computer program, or only stick to below 18? Where did I put my cold Pepsi Max? Should we stick with just digital downloads to avoid tariffs and other messy things as not everyone here lives in 'Murica. Could I even get 7 other people to pitch in $5 and make it happen? Could it be a monthly thing - maybe as a contest? So yeah, lots of logistics. Still, it would be kind of fun. I kinda want to do it. But how?
