I'M FUCKING DONE
Just look at this
I-I-I just can't. This is too much. This flipping game, man. It's just brilliant. Kamige, nothing more, nothing less.
Well, I guess I should elaborate even a little bit, given that I'm really just talking about a shit game full of baka gaijin punches and weeb references. Keikaku, desu, slice of bread, stupid Nipponese emotes, jabs at VN and anime tropes, fucking FACELESS side character named Classmate-kun that has a lenny emote as his face. Yup, this game is rather special, truth be told. Did I also mention that the menu is written with Comic Sans? Becuase it is.
QUALITY. RIGHT FUCKING HERE.
Anyways, the game follows the journey of.... I forgot. Forgive me, but the main character's name spans three dialogue boxes, so everyone just gives up on everything and calls him Protag-kun for short. Works, right? Right? Well, there on out he stumbles on a tsundere yankee (although her being a tsundere could be considered a spoiler, but who cares, roight?), who has a piece of goddamn toast in her mouth, and apparently the MC stumbles ALL over her face and she's still utterly unfazed. She's also a Mahou Shoujo in the pures Sailor Moon way, becuase... reasons? Twintails included. Get your own damn batteries, though.
Then he meets the just mentioned Classmate-kun, with whom you can have wonderful homoerotic, homodachi endings with, including:
- Shitting together in a public bathroom
- Going totally gay together, like pure homoerotic bro-homodachis would
- Sleeping together in a hotel completely butt-naked, causing some hilarious, albeit cringy events together and making him not look like a cheap Saitama ripoff, and in the end getting married in 'Murica
He also uses those oh so fun Nippon emotes that those boke gaijins couldn't understand, and some variations of lenny thrown in for
shit good taste.
I swear to christ this is gonna end me...
Then, the last of the bunch, comically dubbed 'Iinchou-chan'. Literally just 'Iinchou-chan' literally meaning 'class rep' for all the gaijins out there, who don't know the brilliance of Weebism.
Well, she's your average small, big-breasted deredere I guess, except that she adds those ridiculous end-suffixes (I think they're called that? Honestly, I don't give to kusos.). Yes, you heard me right. She adds a desu, -nyan or -uguu in every single damn of her sentences. It's funny for like the first five minutes, and then I feel like stabbing her in the abodmen and hanging myself with her entrails.
Well, there are a few instances where it's still cringy as hell, but at least it's funny. Apparently she's also a yandere. Yeah, it came out of nowhere. She literally steals everything from School Days, fucking decapitates Protag-kun with a kitchen knife, stuffs his cold body in a duffel bag and sets on a voyage with his head a la School Days. I don't even.
The game has 24 endings, believe it or not, and after all that you get to answer the question 'What is the answer to life?', and the answer to life apparently is 'All your bases are belong to us. Wew.
There's also a Boku no Pico ending, but I doubt you want your psyche broken with several PTSDs, stacks on stacks, so I'll just give you a scene before that happens, k? K.
As you've probably noticed by now, the game has a terrific sense of humour. One of such classics is this
Quite fitting humour for something accurately dubbed as shit. There is of course some other jokes, like that one ending resulting in a game over because everything didn't go according to keikaku.
One more for the road.
Yanderes, polygamy, multiple Classmate-kuns cloned with Dragonballs: The Harem Route: The Movie. Coming soon in a theatre near you!
The game's a literal shitfest, but the funniest shitfest I've ever had the pleasure of playing.
9/11, 6/5, 1/1 Kusogest kamige to top all kamiges. Must play, enough water -IGN, GG Takeshi.
In all honesty though, play it if you like satire even the tiniest big.
That's all, thanks for sticking with me to the end.
Blegh, now I feel like a dirty weeaboo, kuso.